Still Confused and Sad - seeking support

My marriage is over and still mid-divorce (very nasty and over a year later).  Admittedly, I’ve self-diagnosed my ex as ADHD based on research after we separated. I recently found this website and see many identical themes and similarities in my defunct marriage.  I only wish I had known these facts before the “D” as perhaps we could have resolved some major issues in the relationship:  distrust built from habitual lies, anger and resentment mounted from the overburden of responsibilities and always feeling like a “caged animal”.  I am sad, very sad, as I love my h but can’t help him any more.  Looking for non-ADHD spouses to provide guidance on rebuilding life without an ADHD spouse since it’s all I’ve ever known . . .