What are the odds?

Once they're diagnosed, how often do ADDers "figure it out" or "man up" ("woman up"?) and take responsibility for themselves and the damage their condition has done? How often are they really aware of what they've done, apologize, and make amends? Or is it usually hopeless--do you really just have to give up and walk away?

So much damage has been done to my life by my husband's condition, that I don't know where to begin, and even now that he's gone I'm still dealing with major repercussions. I don't think he *meant* for any of this to happen, but it happened (or is happening) all the same.