What is an "extreme" or "severe" case of ADHD???

I have heard some spouses mention that their spouses have a "severe" or "extreme" case of ADHD.  And, some have said that their spouse's doctor has used those words.  What do they MEAN?   What are the specifics that "take it to extreme"?


The reason I ask is because mental health professionals  are often hesitant to really "call a spade a spade"....which means that they'll "be nice" and say the person has ADHD, which is true, but neglect to add in that the person ALSO has something more severe going on....like a personality disorder because they know that the person will be too upset, will go into denial and won't return for treatment.  


To me, it seems that mental health professionals find it easier to say, extreme ADHD, rather than, PD with ADHD or .........


When My H and I went to a LCSW counselor years ago, I realize now that he KNEW my H had something more seriously wrong, but just danced around it. 


Yes, I do think my H's ADHD is extreme, beyond extreme, but he doesn't just have ADHD.   He has ADHD, likely borderline PD,  some Narcissistic tendencies, Depression Anxiety OCD.,   He has been Dx'd Axis II, but the psychiatrist and therapist weren't yet able to pinpoint which one.   In the last 10 years (H is almost 60), H has become an alcoholic.  However, that has just made his bad behaviors more frequent...and a bit more extreme....but he's always been extreme....kicked out of 2 schools as a child, suspended many times, had a major breakdown as a senior in college age 20...which he neglected to tell me about until he was about 55.    


My story is sooooo eerily similar to another poster's story it's almost unreal....



There are just a few differences....we do have children, and my H didn't have money before he met me.  Otherwise, nearly everything is EXACTLY the same....as you can see in my comment on her thread.


If the below link doesn't work, it's the Likeness Uncanny thread in the Frustrated forum.