Hello;
My ex fiance was diagnosed adhd 2 years ago. At the time he also thought he had bipolar which goes back years. We broke up January 2025 due to his mental health and his house which is a disaster. We did not live together but had planned on getting married and he would "get his house in order" and after the wedding live at my house.
We have currently become friendly again and he wants to go for marital spiritual counseling but he is also throwing around the idea of living in separate households. This does not sit well with me. I feel like we are back at the same spot when we broke up. Why should he have the freedom to "not get his house in order" but continue to pursue a relationship with me and waste the time of spiritual mentors(and, needless to say, my time) ? I have gently, many times, suggested he go for private counselling to help him with his hoarding and his disaster of a house!! I just feel its grossly unfair that he continues to live in a home that still needs renovating after more than a decade and full of crap but im left flailing in the wind clinging to the hope that we could actually have a life together. Im at a total loss here.
