Forum:
Hello folks,
My ADHD girlfriend (40 y/o) of 2 and half years (and with plans to get married) broke up with me in a whimp. She couldn't articulate reasonable argument for this impulsive act.
My question is:
Do I have any chance to get her back?...will she?...Anything I can do to help her, to try to come back together as a couple?...
I've been reading a lot, and learning as much as I can about ADHD.
Comments
Her choice
I’d assume she has some reason to leave that is beyond your control.
Chasing a person will just make one miserable, Ive found. Especially with ADHD and avoidance, there are depths of misery there for a neurotypical partner that I believe you wouldn’t want to experience.
Sorry you’ve lost your fiancée. It must be so painful.
can I just chime in with Swedish here
She has shown you who she is. Believe her. Chasing her will only bring you deeper misery.
ditto to honestly...
Many KNOW they aren't capable of the consistent behavior it takes to have a peaceful life with a spouse....Many might not can own it, (talk openly about it) so the next best thing in their mind (even if they use blame as outlet) is to just abandon the person before the vow's...You should just recover, accept it...One day when your emotions are back to normal, you probably will be able to see it as a blessing...Wanting the best for others is never wanting them to take on a role they could never fill...
DONT EVEN TRY !!!
You’ve dodged a bullet. If it’s like this now so soon in the relationship, it will only get worse as the relationship, in its natural course gets staler. If my wife would have dumped me 2.5 years into it or if I had caught her repeated affairs, , before kids, would have saved me from two decades of hell. Don’t have kids with this person if you do get back together, you could get stuck with a partner who damages the kids so much, that you could never leave them alone, so no divorcing. This takes a toll on mental health.
Its a hard life being married to an ADHD partner. You have to get used to being at fault for your problems, your partner’s problems, your partners messes, your relationship problems and any family problems, even if you get along with your family and their family and they don’t get along with anybody, ever, that’s your fault too. (Just like the that time that I made her fat) If you try to find solutions, have a problem with their actions, voice unmet needs, you just aren’t sensitive to an ADHD persons struggle and you are ridgid asshole. You don’t know it now, but her dumping you, now is the best thing that ever happened to you and your relationship.