Times are hard in my caregiving profession. Several people at our clinic, myself included, are feeling overwhelmed when fewer people are supposed to do more.
Again noticing signs of burnout (have been here briefly before), I seriously think about quitting.
The ADD ex husband until two years ago leaned heavily on me for a lot of things, there are several teenagers, a house, and for the last decade there’s also been this clinic. I’ve tried to further an education, simultaneously working long hours in a chaotic environment.
Amazed, I find I must have chosen boundary-violating caregiving on every front. Or perhaps, since nobody knew about ex husband’s severe ADD until the last couple of years, I’ve stumbled into it. Then once he was doing badly, I had to try and make a decent-paying career out of a job.
I can’t remember ever wanting to do clinical work as a student, or after. Am I even this warm, empathetic person any more? Privately, I’m more or less falling apart at the seams. I don’t have the energy this fall to pursue hobbies, but mostly grieve under warm blankets at home. Still I’m determined to do good work. Challenges and a bit of adrenaline make me happy at work. It feels important to communicate well with clients. Which means I don’t get home on time, and don’t get my lunch hour. And now my boss complains and says I can’t work overtime like I’ve been doing. Which stresses me even more, because then I can’t leave the clinic with the comfort of knowing everything is well taken care of.
Does anyone else recognize this? Do non-ADHD-ers in these relationships tend to be bad at all kinds of boundary-setting, giving out themselves unhealthily, seeking out places where it’s inevitable?
Do they choose it, or are they chosen by it?
I’m sick of feeling hurt by boundaries and lack of boundaries alike. Also of feeling used by people for having empathy and work ethic.
Should people like me be in other professions altogether? In that case, which ones? How do we protect ourselves?
