Recent forum posts (all topics)

I have been married to my wife for 14 years.

Ok, so I've given up. I'm divorcing my severe ADD husband of 22 years.

I thought I'd feel compassion now. Instead I mostly feel contempt. He's made my life a mess, leaning so heavily on me. It seems not even to have been helpful that I overworked for us. He's just been miserable, lost all his confidence and his health living with me.

He'll probably be better off without me. That thought makes me almost nauseous. As were the hard years all for nothing. 

Forum

Hi, I have high functioning ASD (I just got myself diagnosed a few years ago) and my wife has self-diagnosed ADD (but officially undiagnosed).  We just got married a few years ago.

My girlfriend and I , no kids, and in our 40s and early 50s, were getting to close to engagement. Families like each other and supporting the marriage. Out of nowhere I (don't have adhd) got dumped by my gf.

This is my first post here. My husband is not diagnosed but both he and I believe he has ADHD. I'm trying to deal with symptoms, one being hurtful name calling when he gets frustrated. This applies to both me and his mom. For example, two days ago we were going to go pick up our car from the shop. I had asked him if he had his wallet, and then got distracted by putting our dogs outside. As we walked into the garage I asked him again if he had his wallet and he responded "Are you okay?" And I was like "Yeah, I am..." not realizing I had asked the question twice.

Hello. I am new to this forum. I have ADHD that comes with some pretty severe RSD. (rejection sensitive dysphoria) I feel like these things are ruining my life and my marriage. I have a great team of healthcare professionals and a wonderful therapist. I take my medication faithfully and eat right and exercise and go to therapy regularly. My husband and I see a marriage therapist as well. I am doing all the things, but am feeling very hopeless because it doesn't seem to be making a difference (mostly in my marriage).

Hello, all.  

The last time I posted an update, I said I was doing pretty well.  And I was.  I had been doing pretty well for awhile, despite any real change in our marriage and definitely no change in his adhd management.  Plus the adhd kids we have here add another layer of adhd stuff.  But I was doing alright, for quite awhile.  I thought I had figured some things out, solved some things.  Turns out - no.  I am TIRED of the struggle.  Soooo sick of it.  But I am not leaving, so neither is the struggle.    

are ADHD and narcissism connected?

I am wondering how many other spouses of ADHD partners experience problems in sex stemming from ADHD. It has been a revelation to me that my problems with my husband are connected to this. It seems he is either hyper focusing, or his attention wanders from me. He seems to get very consumed with his own sensations, and the connection to me drops. This is similar to what happens often in daily life. He is unaware that the connection has dropped in all cases. During sex this is particularly weird for me. I felt he was being unloving and selfish.

The subject of abuse has come up repeatedly on the forum lately.

I am taught to draw a sharp line at physical violence. That is unacceptable.

The thing is, about other ways of causing pain, I'm not certain how to differ abuse from non-abuse. For instance, a non-ADHD partner keeping a cautious distance, letting distaste show, not being in love, seems to be devastating to the partner's self-esteem and even health. Voicing needs, with increasing tone of voice over time when needs are never met, causes conflict and deep-felt chronic stress in the ADHD partner. Is that abuse?