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Hello all,

I am looking for The ADHD Effect on Marriage in the Chinese language to give to my wife.  Where can I find it in other languages?  

Whilst it is too late to save the marriage itself, (truthfully I think the right time for me to have known my ADHD diagnosis, read this book, and begun working hard on changing myself was around 2016/17 so about 7 years too late) the book covers a lot of areas that will be helpful regarding ADHD relationships which other co-parenting manuals do not; communication, empathy, treatment, boundaries.  We need to co-parent our daughter amicably and if we are constantly at odds with each other that is not going to be good for our child.  

(Hint: maybe Melissa Orlov could work on a version of this book specifically on co-parenting with ADHD in the future?)

My wife has gotten a lot better in the last year or so with some of the aspects of her ADHD that were most problematic in our relationship, mainly since she got back on regular medication and we finally were able to have some (albeit very defensive) conversations about how ADHD was affecting things between us. But one thing that has not really budged at all is the nagging cycle we fall into. Here's how it goes..

Guess what happened. After years of begging him to get a new job that would pay him better (and let's face it, he has ADHD - he's probably gotten bored and complacent at that job and it's not going to get better.  He should be switching jobs more often, but instead he overstays his welcome and gets laid off.)   For the first time in our 27 years together, he updated his resume when he still had a job.   We will see if he actually applies to something.   I should be happy, but I'm kind of annoyed that I decided he would never change and I had to go and he changed.  And that's why we've been together for so long.  I decide that I've had enough and he switches gears.  But he never does it before it's too late.   We are now not putting groceries on credit cards and NOW he decides to get a new job? 

Why can't he do the right thing when things are bad?  Why?

Looking for a support group for non ADHD spouses.

Has anyone experienced a covert narcissist controlling and manipulating someone with ADD/ADHD(dx or ndx)?

O

20+ years of marriage to an ADHD spouse who was just diagnosed about 3 years ago. We have 3 kids who are all teenagers now and still at home. My husband was unemployed for about 6 years and has been employed in a good job for a few years now. He is very smart, creative and talented, and his contributions at work are really appreciated. We have a lot of very typical dynamics in play in our marriage, most notably what I have seen termed the "pursuit-retreat" pattern. This pattern is typical for *anything* that is asked of him outside of his job.

Looking for support and information on how others had their Come to Jesus talk with the ADHD spouse. 

Lately I've been thinking about the partners in ADHD-affected relationships struggling to find their bearings.

Do both the ADHD partner and the non suffer so much from loss of orientation that it can end the relationship?

I seem to read all the time about two individuals who don't share a universe. One feels they are unappreciated and misunderstood and blamed without reason. The other that they are exhausting themselves without reward or effect and their partner behaves like a difficult child.