Recent forum posts (all topics)

My spouse, who has ADHD, has conveyed to me, subtly and directly, that it is unreasonable or abnormal that I have needs for emotional support (e.g., someone to talk to occasionally about me and my life) and that I expect these needs to be met in our marriage, by him.  

As a result, I have shut down my neediness.  I don't talk to my husband about myself and I rarely talk to other people about myself.  I feel incredibly lonely.  So, everyone out there, what do you think:  is it wrong to have needs?

  Hello to everyone, 

I have come across this great website and have just started reading the book. I have always known that something was not quite right but can not believe all the symptoms that have been confirmed. My mother in law, spouse and youngest daughter have what I have previously described as itchy brains. Distracted, compulsive, impulsive, oppositional and risky.  Brains ticking at a million miles an hour unknowingly upsetting so many people.

For complicated reasons, terribly stress related reasons... it has taken a toll on us both. 

He (ADD) says he's leaving. He no longer trusts me, says he. Lots of you can understand where the blame goes, right?

He wants to leave all problems, tough problems. At an elderly age folks. I'm 15 years younger. Been together 12 years. He says he'll be grabbing cheap airfare in about a week. Wants to take no money, leave me with his social security money (I don't want or need it), he'll "find a way in the city."

We are both exhausted and might sleep better tonight (I hope!).

Could anybody tell me more about it? Is it part of what ADHD is like? Or could it be something called by Ritalin?

My husband was diagnosed in 2005, tried Concerta and Adderal for 1 year, and quit. Then started on Ritalin in 2008 and has been on it ever since. His anger has really picked up since about 2009/2010. Before he was sarcastic and would storm out -- now he is furious, unreasonable and sometimes violent. 

I’ve only just discovered this forum and it is frightening how many women are in a similar position to mine!
 

When I met my husband he was a loving, caring and attentive man. Sure, he was forgetful sometimes and okay, maybe not all his plans worked out but everyone has that now and then, right?
Wrong! The minute we got married, things went downhill. The sex evaporated almost overnight (we’d had a very regular sex life up to that point), his forgetfulness got worse and any initiative that he used to have just seemed to have drained out of him.
 

I am ashamed of my anger and hate and resentment. I accept that I have been working too hard at this relationship - so much that the relationship is a burden to him and to me. I have become Pavlov's dog conditioned to expect disappointment and heartache.  My ADD husband has been the manipulator who unknowingly? has been giving me the painful constantly surprising electric shocks of forgetting me/ignoring me/empty promises/empty words of love/flirting with others/staying distant when I need him.

I was working day and night to pay 95% of the bills. I'd come home and nothing was done. Kids were not fed, homework not done, house not cleaned and forget anything extra like bills being done. 

My job was insanely physical. I would get nose bleeds from the physical exertion and now have many repetitive motion injuries. I tried too hard, pushed it too far and now I am burned out. So much so that I could lay in bed all day and just wait to die. I am sure depression is involved, but I don't feel particularly depressed. I just have zero motivation. 

Hi all-

Would love people to weigh in on this:

Like many others here, my DH and I struggle with our sex life a bit (he is ADD and wants it all the time, I am the non and don't want it as often b/c we're still trying to work our way out of the parent-child dynamic). Our counselor suggested that we consider scheduling sex, which is something I've heard has worked for other couples...but I have some concerns.

I am so glad that I found this forum! I have so much to say so forgive me if this is long. My husband was diagnosed with ADHD about 7 years ago but should have been diagnosed much earlier in life (elementary school). He has been on medication since then but has not had any type of counseling/therapy. We have been together for 15 years and married for 11 years. He also suffers with components of OCD and there has been suggestions that he may display signs of Asperger's.

I recently got married to someone who I thought was IT! I mean everything in a nutshell. Even thought we came from EXTREMELY different planets (backgrounds) I felt like we just meshed so well. Knowing the my ADDer came from a broken home and a harsh environment (the HOOD) I could see the lack of expressing too many emotions, not knowing how to be romantic and not knowing how to conduct themselves in a new environment (the suburbs) but I thought that could change with time in no time. Boy I could not have been more wrong!! After our wedding date, things became warped.