I have been with my partner for 13 months now, in our day to day lives out relationship is great but when we have an argument it spirals out of control,
When we argue im accused of not loving her that I'm cheating or that I'm seeing someone else
This isn't the case and has never been the case,
I try my best to reassure her there is no one else but she doesn't believe me and states that I don't love her and never have, that I'm using her to pass the time,
I do all that I can to prove it, I spend as much time as I can with her when I'm not working, I constantly txt through the day when I am working as well, I buy her flowers or little presents just so she knows I have been thinking of her, I even write notes and leave them for her when I have to leave cause I have to go back home as that's where I work, we live opposite ends of the country but I commute back and forward twice a week sometimes more so that we can spend time together,
When we argue I try to defuse the situation by reassuring her but then also saying I think we should take a break and come back to this when emotions are not so high but that doesn't help, I try to remove myself from the situation as well as things can get very heated and I don't want things to be said in anger that are hurtful to one another, sometimes it gets to the point that so much is going on and said that I have had to leave and go home cause the argument is just not ending, I know that doesn't help her as that then makes her feel abandoned but I also don't like being in a situation that is going nowhere as it's just a circle of repeated accusations and there is no resolve when things are in that state,
I do notice as well that when she has said some hurtful things when we argue I have repeated them back to her she denies all knowledge that she said that, does this happen with ADHD people that if they get to a point they can not regulate what they say or even remember they said it ?
I also find that when drinking is involved it can be worse the argument can go from 0-100 in a matter of minutes,
Like I said previous our day to day life and relationship is great but when this happens it really knocks me with the things that she says and just makes me feel like no matter what I do it's not good enough for her .
