ADHD & Marriage News - September 21, 2022
Quote of the Week
“Mindfulness is to be in the present as an observer. We’re not in the past. ‘What could have happened, would have happened, should have happened,’ often leads to regrets and sorrow. We’re not in the future – the to-do list, the worries that lead to anxiety. We are in the present, as an active observer. Mindfulness allows people to see problems as they are, instead of amplifying them.”
- Francoise Adan in a talk on resilience
Resilience and Mindfulness are Connected
Resilience is based, in part, on believing that what you need to tackle is of a size that is ‘tackle-able.’ Adan notes that both regret and anxiety make issues bigger than they are, and that amplification may impede our ability to cope.
Fearing the future, in particular, can really keep you from making decisions that are right for you in your present moment. If I’ve learned one thing in the last decade, it’s that the future is completely unknowable. You might have cancer, uncover an affair, be in a car accident, have the unexpected joy of a new grandchild that inspires you to move closer to family, decide to quit your job 2 years early… there are both trials and joys in that unknowable future.
So how do you make yourself more resilient today? By looking, clear-eyed, at what your life really is like in this very moment. Feeling anxious about money? Okay. Without inflating that anxiety, what’s the true picture of your finances, and what are today’s options for today’s fears? Burned out in your job? How do you stay calm and evaluate whether it’s time to retire or find something else? How do your options align with your dreams and emotions?
Are you looking, mindfully, at your life and situation today, and looking at how to get the most joy you can? Once you strip away the amplification of the future and past, there are probably small steps you can take to make today’s life better and better.
NEWS and EVENTS:
ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Self-study Seminar Available Now!
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life!
Resources
Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships.
Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues, successes and struggles and find new, effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group.
How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD - go to the home page for a free download about the best ways to manage ADHD.
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