Heart to Heart

Tips for Thriving in your Marriage

“Build time into your schedules to be together for mini-conversations:  15 minutes together after work to talk about your challenges at work, a morning walk to talk about goals and hopes or meet for lunch or call during the day just to chat.”

-  Dr. Stephen Covey
   The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families

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You don’t need to constantly be together, but a little bit of time together each day is very helpful for feeling connected.  Many couples find that they actually have to create a routine of connection to make this happen.  Examples in my own household include:  my husband and I spend breakfast together – he makes coffee and I make breakfast; we try to eat dinner together; if one of us is out of town we either email or talk via phone to catch up; we try (but don’t always succeed) to go to bed at the same time and read in bed a bit.

These are mundane types of connections, but they give us plenty of time to feel the reassuring warmth and presence of our partner as well as make sure that if something really important comes up there will be multiple times in the day when we can connect around it.

Connecting this way over the busy holidays may be hard, but it's still worth asking the question - When do we normally connect?

You don’t need to constantly be together, but a little bit of time together each day is very helpful for feeling connected.  Many couples find that they actually have to create a routine of connection to make this happen.  Examples in my own household include:  my husband and I spend breakfast together – he makes coffee and I make breakfast; we try to eat dinner together; if one of us is out of town we either email or talk via phone to catch up; we try (but don’t always succeed) to go to bed at the same time and read in bed a bit.

These are mundane types of connections, but they give us plenty of time to feel the reassuring warmth and presence of our partner as well as make sure that if something really important comes up there will be multiple times in the day when we can connect around it.

When do you connect? You don’t need to constantly be together, but a little bit of time together each day is very helpful for feeling connected.  Many couples find that they actually have to create a routine of connection to make this happen.  Examples in my own household include:  my husband and I spend breakfast together – he makes coffee and I make breakfast; we try to eat dinner together; if one of us is out of town we either email or talk via phone to catch up; we try (but don’t always succeed) to go to bed at the same time and read in bed a bit.

These are mundane types of connections, but they give us plenty of time to feel the reassuring warmth and presence of our partner as well as make sure that if something really important comes up there will be multiple times in the day when we can connect around it.

When do you connect?______________________________________________________________________________________

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© 2012 Melissa Orlov