Actions Have Consequences

ADHD & Marriage News - May 11, 2022

Quote of the Week

“Watch out!

You might get what you’re after…”

- The Talking Heads, Burning Down the House

Actions Have Consequences

Actions have consequences.  If you act as if you are helpless in a relationship, not carrying your weight in household responsibilities, you may well be consigned to a ‘less than’ role in your partnership.  Even if what you think you want is respect. 

If you aggressively pursue your partner in an effort to get them to do more, you may live the consequences of that aggression – not the compliance you are looking for, but the other human response – escape from your pursuit.

If you say you really want to find a new job, but don’t update your resume or apply to any positions, your partner is likely to wonder if you really do want that job, after all.

If you love your partner but also have an affair you may end up divorced, even if divorce is not what you sought, only fun.

Others will generally interpret your actions to be representative of ‘what you’re after’ or want.  You are not in control of how others will respond to your actions, so don’t make any assumptions that they will see it as you do, and be careful about what you communicate through your actions and choices.  As the Talking Heads say…watch out, you might get what you’re after.  Or at least what others perceive you’re after.



You may find this new offering useful: Starting May 12: "Guided Support Group for Adults with ADHD & Anxiety: Confident and Calmer--a 6 week group"

For those in marriages impacted by ADHD

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals. can literally change your life! 


Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The next live session STARTS fall 2022.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues, successes and struggles and find new, effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group.

How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD - go to the home page for a free download about the best ways to manage ADHD.

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