Putting Others Ahead of Yourself

ADHD & Marriage News - July 13, 2021

Quote of the Week

“One side of co-dependency is that you always put others ahead of yourself. You feel you can't, or that you better not, say no.”

-Darlene Lancer, from the Adult Chair podcast 

Putting Others Ahead of Yourself

Does the idea of putting others ahead of yourself sound familiar?  How about saying “I should just do X because it’s too much of a hassle to get my partner to do it”?

If so, there’s a word for that – co-dependency.  It’s when you don’t support yourself in a way that helps you thrive and, instead, subjugate yourself to the needs of others around you.  While it may be expedient at first, over the long-run it can make you feel less than, depressed and invisible.

Parent/child dynamics is one example of co-dependency in ADHD-impacted relationships.  One partner under-performs and the other person compensates for that at cost to themselves.

One of the best resources for understanding and getting out of co-dependency is an ‘oldie but goodie,’ Melodie Beatty’s book, Co-Dependent No More.  If you think you struggle with these issues, I urge you to read it.  It, combined with information about how to manage ADHD issues, will start you on a path to a healthier relationship.


STARTING OCTOBER 20TH - Need help in your ADHD impacted relationship? The ADHD Effect 8-session live Couples' Seminar has helped many, many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. Registration OPEN! Repair your marriage & learn to thrive now!


Join me for the ADHD Parents Palooza – Understand the nuances of parenting ADHD. Starts Monday, July 26, 2021. Free. 

For those in marriages impacted by ADHD

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! 


Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The next live session STARTS October 20, 2021. Registration is now open.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues, successes and struggles and find new, effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group.

How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD - go to the home page for a free download about the best ways to manage ADHD.

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© 2021 Melissa Orlov