“The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now.”
Using the Now
I wish my husband and I had known all we know now about ADHD in relationships back when I first got married. We would still probably have struggled, but our relationship would have been so much stronger.
But, as the proverb notes, the second best time to plant a tree is now. And that is what my husband and I do. We take time and effort to enjoy every day. Better yet, we make sure to connect every day in some way. Lots of times that biking or hiking together – which not only connects us, but provides a sense of emotional peace (which is the case with all aerobic exercise). But our living in the now also extends to being open to whatever the other person wants to try. That could be a surprise dinner out, a new movie, time with friends, a visit to a museum, doing a puzzle, going to…well, just about anything. It might be something as small as putting stamps on holiday cards (something I asked my husband to do the other day and was grateful he did.)
Trees grow strong with water and sun. So does your relationship. Every day.
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For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals.
Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The next live session starts Fall, 2020.