“Positive emotions are a life raft in a sea of uncertainty and heartache. And accessing moments of good can not only help us, it can help those we care for and interact with throughout the day.”
-Lidia Zylowska, author of The Mindfulness Prescription for ADHD
Even if you are struggling, there are many positive emotions that you can access to help you get through the harder moments. Here are just a few that I’ve seen recently in couples I’m working with. They often focus around appreciating what you already have, or creating new things that you can appreciate:
- Evaluation of, and appreciation for, improvements that have come with the start of ADHD medication
- An early ‘Thanksgiving’ done in September for a family that couldn’t be together in November due to COVID. They created a completely new ‘holiday’ focused on being together and having fun to celebrate life.
- Riding a bike and appreciating fall colors (okay, that’s us!)
- A couple who spent their anniversary reminiscing about the positive ways they connected when they were younger and saying thank you. They held hands while doing this
- A couple who takes 5-10 minutes every night to complete the sentence “What you need to know most about me today is…” and shares something personal. The other person listens, perhaps questions, and says thank you
- A couple who does yoga together to slow down and connect a bit at something fun
- A couple who has started taking walks around their property to talk. The non-ADHD partner (who is the more conversationally dominate of the two) doesn’t speak for the first 5 minutes to allow her partner more time to share himself with her. They both enjoy this change.
These moments of good have all been intentionally created by these couples for the purpose of creating positive emotions and connection between them. What positive moments might you create, either for yourself or your relationship?
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