“The way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any. You are the captain of your ship…"
- Claire Messenger
Advice from a Friend
I have a friend who has become a serious marathon runner. She trains seriously, and shares inspirational photos of her training journey on Instagram. She’s also an artist, so her photographs are also beautiful representations of the human body.
It is inspiring to watch her journey, and her words about giving up power ring true to me. We don’t always get to choose our destiny – health issues come to mind – but we do get to choose how we respond to our destiny. Will we remain open and receptive to new ideas, be flexible in our thinking, and seek to create the best with what we have? Or will we escape, close down, and run from our troubles?
This is an intensely relevant question when dealing with ADHD in relationships. The nature of ADHD – chronic distraction; difficulty engaging reliably; trouble following through; memory issues; emotional lability – these all hit at the heart of what relationships are all about. And yet…adults with ADHD are more than just their ADHD. They are also often compassionate; warm; joyfully in the moment, and more.
It saddens me when I see ADHD adults give up their power after years of battering from a world that has difficulty interpreting their actions. I’m not advocating simply saying ‘take me as I am’ and ignoring the basic needs of those around them for solid management of their ADHD symptoms. But I am suggesting that staying engaged and choosing to direct their own lives, rather than retreat, can create a life of joy.
Do you have ADHD? If so, what are you doing as captain of your own ship?
You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at adhdmarriage.com, including free:
- Online treatment overview;
- Downloadable chapters of my books;
- A community forum with other couples facing similar issues;
- A large number of blog posts on various topics;
Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The Live session starts September 2018.