“Probably the two worst times to make a big, far-reaching decision are when you are feeling really bad, (or) feeling really good…Most of the time the biggest decisions require the head and heart working together.”
-Peter Pearson, founder of The Couple’s Institute
Divorce and COVID
Mental health professionals like myself have been working overtime during the COVID pandemic. SO many couples are struggling right now! And many, thinking they just can’t stand it anymore, are considering divorce.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t get divorced. Just perhaps not right now. As Pearson suggests, it’s not a great time to make those sorts of far-reaching decisions, (unless the circumstances are extreme, such as physical abuse.) Some of the stressors that are making us feel really bad right now include:
- Lack of our normal routines that create structure and joy
- Way too much together time – every flaw gets magnified
- Children who are struggling with mental health issues related to their own social situations and schooling
- Significantly more financial strain for many
- Being kept apart from other family members who may sustain us
- Fear – of COVID, of political machinations, health and more
This situation, with these compounding factors, is temporary. Someday, most of us who haven’t been impacted by the death of an immediate family member will have a more ‘normal’ life back. That will be a better time to make a decision about your relationship. And in the meantime, consider getting professional help or joining a support group if you need it to get through this horrible time. Be creative about how to stay connected to others and have some ‘me’ time, too.
Head and heart working together really is the best way to make decisions about your life and family.
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