There are some things about my life, and about my partner’s behavior, that I simply will never fully comprehend.  I’m not sure he will, either.  As a person who seeks to not only understand, but share that understanding with many thousands of others, this presents a conundrum.  Do I continue to try to understand, or do I just accept?

The reality in my own situation is that the chaos created by the contradictions in my life (affairs vs. loving each other; paying attention sometimes but not others; lying vs. truthfulness; joy vs. secrets; completion vs. feelings of emptiness) is not fully distillable.  And one of the things that I have to come to terms with is that I will likely never really understand all the chaos.  Yes, ADHD and responses to ADHD play a role, for sure.  But we are none of us just about the ADHD in our relationships.  We are complex, mixed up, happy, fearful, proud, shamed, honest, dishonest.  We have histories of complex attachments and abandonments that we bring with us.  Love and failure.

I like to joke that I often make a soup that I call ‘meal of the week in review.’  A day in my life is more like ‘all of my life in review.’  What I strive for is to be able to add color and healthiness and great ‘vegetables and meat’ to that soup as I move forward.

You don’t have to understand it all to succeed.  But you do need to grab your life with gusto and LIVE IT.

STARTING NEXT WEEK - JANUARY 19, 2022 - LIVE ADHD EFFECT ON MARRIAGE Seminar   Give each other the gift of love!

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! 

Resources

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The next live session STARTS January 19, 2022. DON'T MISS IT!

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues, successes and struggles and find new, effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group.

How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD - go to the home page for a free download about the best ways to manage ADHD.

Question? Contact Melissa.

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