ADHD & Marriage News - March 29, 2023

Quote of the Week

“Often, playing, resting, saying no, slowing down, having fun, being imperfect, living in our bodies, feeling our emotions, and asking for help feel unsafe in the present because they were unsafe in the past.”

-life coach Sarah Noble


I was struck by how true this statement is, particularly for people used to criticism in their lives.  For ADHD partners, that Constant Critique (as Ned Hallowell calls it) comes early on.  One research study suggests that children with ADHD are the recipients of 20,000 more critiques by the age of 12 than their neuro-typical counterparts.  The hurt represented in that number is astounding.

Non-ADHD partners, and particularly women, have other issues that may have made their past impact their present moment, including our societally common concerns about female body image and, for some, asking for what one wants.  Even strong women may give too much of themselves to others because they believe it is expected of them.

Where to go with all this pain?  Creating a safe space for ourselves means learning self-compassion.  Slowing down and giving oneself an internal hug.  Allowing that our emotions may be messy, but that’s okay.  Having the courage to confront the issues we bring forward with us from the past.  It is important to learn to love ourselves, and make ourselves safe, one step at a time.

Are there parts of your past that deserve reflection and self-compassion?



➤ In this Psychology Today post, I write a personal story about learning how to be more self-compassionate in the face of strong emotions, and how doing so helped me grow.


Resources For those in relationships impacted by ADHD


ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - Is your relationship in trouble? My highly acclaimed 8-session Zoom seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. 

Non ADHD Partner Support Group (two session have openings) and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group (Apr - Jun 2023 full) - Be part of a community exploring similar issues, successes and struggles and find new, effective ways to be your best self in your relationship.


How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD

Downloadable chapters of my books;

A community forum with other couples facing similar issues;

A large number of blog posts on various topics;



ADULT ADHD CAN HAVE A HUGE IMPACT ON YOUR RELATIONSHIP. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! 

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© 2023 Melissa Orlov