“The greater danger for most of us lies not in setting our aim too high and falling short; but in setting our aim too low, and achieving our mark.”
What standards to you have, overall, for the quality of your relationship? How are you measuring its value? I’ve seen some couples change and adapt until things feel calmer, but they still don’t have what they want. I’ve seen people ‘convince’ themselves that having a partner who really doesn’t pay adequate attention to them is okay. I’ve seen others ‘settle’ for something that might be ‘good enough’ but doesn’t really feel like love. It becomes a relationship that is expedient, but often without joy. Eventually, these sorts of adaptations may lead to a sense of emptiness and sadness.
Look – we only have one life to live. Figure out what is unique and wonderful in your relationship, in yourself, and in your partner. Examine your most deeply held values and expectations about what a relationship must be for you. Then look carefully at what you have. With help, can you get there from here? Are there specific issues that you thought you cared about, but really don’t? Are there others that you’ve said don’t really matter, but which still eat away at you? Are you at risk of setting your aim too low, and achieving your mark?
NEWS and EVENTS:
STARTING WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 20TH - Need help in your ADHD impacted relationship? The ADHD Effect 8-session live Couples' Seminar has helped many, many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. DON'T DELAY!Repair your marriage & learn to thrive now!
Dr. Hallowell’s Wonderful World of Different podcast just launched. Listen on Spotify.
Have you ever heard “I feel like I have another child”? I talk about common maladaptive dynamics between couples and how ADHD impacts relationships. All The Therapies
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life!
Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The next live session STARTS NEXT WEEK - October 20, 2021.