Could there be anything healthier for a relationship than thinking of every setback as an opportunity to learn?! This sort of forward-thinking attitude is how we grow, and it has the chance to move you into new…and better…territory in your relationship.
The old zero-sum idea of win or lose just doesn’t fit when you are talking about two people who are supposed to be partners. It also doesn’t support the sort of experimentation that couples impacted by ADHD must use to find out what works for them. Some common opportunities to learn:
You start taking ADHD meds for the first time and the effect is underwhelming. While that’s disappointing, you learn you need a higher dose or different medication.
You set up a verbal cue and then your partner blows past it during an emotional moment. You learn that the two of you need a more unusual word, or perhaps a different approach.
You start tracking a behavior you want to change and realize you do it more than you thought. You learn that you need to take your partner’s complaints about it more seriously, and you need a real plan to create change.
You start an exercise routine and learn that you feel energized after about 30 minutes. (Yep, that’s a win…couldn’t resist!)
What setbacks could you be learning from?
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For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life!
Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The next live session STARTS January 19, 2022