Value Creation and ADHD-Impacted Relationships

ADHD & Marriage News - December 6, 2023

Quote of the Week

“Virtually all of our accomplishments occur through value creation and virtually all our failures owe to devaluing (value destruction).  Consider who is more likely to maintain healthy weight:  the person who values health or the one who devalues her body?"

- Steven Stosny, PhD

Value Creation and ADHD-Impacted Relationships

Consider your relationships.  Which are happiest and which are hardest?  In which ones are you most likely to devalue the other person…or be devalued by the other person (most likely, both)?

Then think about your hardest interactions.  Criticism, venting, correcting – these are all forms of devaluing the efforts of another, or even that other person herself.

Now think about the reward-focused, ADHD brain.  It is a brain that is hard-wired through the attention and reward system to respond to positive feedback.

I don’t want to delve too deeply into specific examples here.  Rather, I ask you to take a few minutes to just think about this question:  How might overtly trying to create value in my interactions with my partner, and stop devaluing my partner, change how we are as a couple?  And, in tandem, what do I need from my partner that would make me feel more valued?




➤  Non-ADHD SUPPORT GROUPS: - Meet with others who have been living a similar experience to your own.  Together - with others who get what you've been going through, and with a talented moderator  - you explore what works and what doesn't and develop strategies alongside others who traverse this complicated life.

➤  FOUNDATIONS IN HABIT DEVELOPMENT - This special series is for ADHD partners who have completed The ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar with Melissa Orlov. 

Resources For those in relationships impacted by ADHD


ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - Is your relationship in trouble? My highly acclaimed 9-session Zoom seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. Registration Open. Starts February 2024.

Non ADHD Partner Support Group (registration open) and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group (registration open) - Be part of a community exploring similar issues, successes and struggles and find new, effective ways to be your best self in your relationship.

NewADHD & Marriage Professional Training Program - an integrated team of experts dedicated to supporting the needs of couples and adults impacted by ADHD.  


How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD

Downloadable chapters of my books;

A community forum with other couples facing similar issues;

A large number of blog posts on various topics;




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© 2023 Melissa Orlov