“There are some things you learn best in calm, some in storm.”
- Willa Cather
Calm and Storm
I feel sad that Cather’s quote held true for me. When things were calm in my relationship it was easy for me to understand intellectually that I needed to treat my partner better, but hard for me to internalize emotionally that I had to really commit to DOING so. Then, when really stormy times came – times that were emotionally horrible for us both, and in which our marriage was immediately threatened, it became clear that I only had one path if I wanted to keep my marriage alive. I HAD TO treat my husband more kindly.
For all of you who, in your anger and resentment, are struggling with implementing the ideals of respect, kindness, empathy and validation, I hope that you will learn from my experiences. While some things are easier learned in that storm, it is an emotionally hard place to be. Instead, believe me when I tell you that you have no choice other than to work together, as a couple, to treat each other kindly and with respect. Otherwise, you will not thrive.
Why not do it now, while you are still speaking to each other and willing to work together, rather than wait for that storm to come?
February is the month of love! Starting February 18th - Session 1 of my Live Couples Seminar: Optimizing ADHD treatment; Understanding the differences between you - and 7 more sessions after that! My Non-ADHD Support groups, both am and pm, start Feb 17th. Don't Delay, registration is NOW OPEN for all courses!
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship.
ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals.
Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The live session starts February 18, 2020.