Dirty Hands

ADHD & Marriage Weekly Tip - November 9, 2016

Quote of the Week

“Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.” - Dorothy Parker

Dirty Hands

By the time many couples find me they are superb mud slingers.  They are angry, frustrated and intent on ‘telling the truth’ about the relationship.  Which, inevitably, translates into dumping on their partner.

But this misses one huge point.  The more mud you throw, the dirtier your hands will likely get.  The non-ADHD partner who screams at an ADHD partner to get his or her attention is seen as being an unreasonable or angry person rather than as just being angry at that moment…and someone to avoid.

I urge partners to ‘contribute your best self’ to the relationship because by doing so they can be viewed by their partner as a person who is worth working things out with.  Just as importantly, they will be able to look back on their behavior with pride.


Nov 10 - TOMORROW - The first of ten sessions of ongoing coaching and community for managing ADHD - ADHD partner support and coaching group

Nov 11 & 12 - CHADD International Conference, Costa Mesa, CA - Melissa will be presenting. 

For those in marriages impacted by ADHD

You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at adhdmarriage.com, including: a free online treatment overview; free downloadable chapters of my books; a community forum with other couples facing similar issues; a large number of blog posts on various topics; referrals; and my very popular couples course:
ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This highly acclaimed, eight-session phone seminar has helped many couples turn around their relationship.
If your relationship is in pretty good shape but you are looking to feel even closer, consider my self-study seminar Recovering Intimacy in Your Relationship.

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life!  Question?  Contact Melissa.

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© 2016 Melissa Orlov