What You Want to Do

ADHD & Marriage News - February 23, 2021

Quote of the Week

“ADHD medications may play a role in not only focusing but also in helping the brain regulate emotions, freeing up space and energy to do other things.”

-Dr. Anthony Rostain

What You Want to Do

Whether or not to take medications is completely up to the person with the ADHD.  However, there are many compelling reasons to consider it, including the ease with which these medications can improve focus and restraint.

But those qualities, enabled by the increased dopamine these medications make available, are useful insomuch as they enable the ability to do more of what you want.  Within couples counseling sometimes ‘what you want’ includes the ability to follow through on mundane tasks in a way that helps you be more of an equal partner.

That’s powerful!  Rather than expend energy following wherever your impulses lead, you get to CHOOSE where to expend your energy because now you can sustain your focus long enough to do so.

I have a client right now who puts it this way.  “I used to spend all of my time putting out fires because stuff just caught me by surprise all the time.  Every day was just one big fire drill.  Now that I’m taking medication I can much better anticipate, and things don’t just ‘suddenly happen’ anymore.  I feel much more in control, and that has lessened my anxiety and allowed me to more consciously and affectionately focus on my partner, too.”

ADHD medications may or may not be right for you.  But if you wish to learn more about how to optimize ADHD treatment (with and without medications) please feel free to download my free treatment e-book from the home page of my website (right column).  It was updated this year, and contains the most recent information you need to know.


My 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The next live session starts April 7, 2021

Free VIRTUAL OFFICE HOURS with me to support you during the COVID-19 crisis More information is here.

Tues, Mar 2 - 7:00 - 8:30pm EASTERN
Thurs, Mar 4:  1:00 - 2:00pm EASTERN
Tues, Mar 9:  4:00 - 5:00pm EASTERN
Thurs, Mar 11:  7:00 - 8:15pm EASTERN

... more dates

For those in marriages impacted by ADHD

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals.


Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The next live session starts April 7, 2021.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues, successes and struggles and find new, effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group.

How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD - go to the home page for a free download about the best ways to manage ADHD.

Question? Contact Melissa.

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© 2021 Melissa Orlov