Brené Brown on Boundaries

ADHD & Marriage News - July 19, 2023

Quote of the Week

“The boundaries part is hard as hell.  I love how we do boundaries (in our house) – here’s what’s okay; here’s what’s not okay.  ‘I love that you are invested in my kids.  I’m going to have to ask you not to criticize my parenting.’”

-Brené Brown

Brené Brown on Boundaries

I like Brown’s approach to boundaries…say yes first, then say no.  Tell your partner – or your in-laws - you see them and their strengths (“you’re invested in my kids”) but express your values and your choices (“I’m/we’re the parent(s) of my children and wish to be in charge of how they are raised”)

She’s been very precise in what she has asked for; and it is less a critique of the other party than a reflection of her choices.  (For example, a more critical way to say this would be “I hate how you are constantly telling us how to raise our kids.”

Are there boundary issues in your household that would benefit from this yes/no approach?  How might you phrase your yes to really see the other person and your no to be reflective of your own values rather than a personal critique?


More on this topic: 

Respect and Personal Boundaries in ADHD Relationships

Resources For those in relationships impacted by ADHD


ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - Is your relationship in trouble? My highly acclaimed 9-session Zoom seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The next live seminar will be in Fall 2023. Dates will be posted in late August, '23.

Need support now? The Self-Study Seminar is available to start now / 1 year access / Move at your own pace / Includes materials & recordings from the Spring '23 live seminar.

Non ADHD Partner Support Group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group - Be part of a community exploring similar issues, successes and struggles and find new, effective ways to be your best self in your relationship.

What's next? You've read The ADHD Effect on Marriage. You've completed The ADHD Effect Couples' SeminarFoundations in Habit Development Group is designed for ADHD partners to help solidify the changes you have started to make and want to firm up. September 20 - November 8, 2023.


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A community forum with other couples facing similar issues;

A large number of blog posts on various topics;




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