“The boundaries part is hard as hell. I love how we do boundaries (in our house) – here’s what’s okay; here’s what’s not okay. ‘I love that you are invested in my kids. I’m going to have to ask you not to criticize my parenting.’”
Brené Brown on Boundaries
I like Brown’s approach to boundaries…say yes first, then say no. Tell your partner – or your in-laws - you see them and their strengths (“you’re invested in my kids”) but express your values and your choices (“I’m/we’re the parent(s) of my children and wish to be in charge of how they are raised”)
She’s been very precise in what she has asked for; and it is less a critique of the other party than a reflection of her choices. (For example, a more critical way to say this would be “I hate how you are constantly telling us how to raise our kids.”
Are there boundary issues in your household that would benefit from this yes/no approach? How might you phrase your yes to really see the other person and your no to be reflective of your own values rather than a personal critique?
Resources For those in relationships impacted by ADHD
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