“Don’t let fate take over. You can influence your destiny.”
-Sandra Day O’Connor, in the late ‘70s
O’Connor meant that you can overcome obstacles, such as those she faced, if you work at it. But there is another way to think about this. Your actions ALWAYS influence your destiny. If you choose to cling to your anger or frustration, your days will continue to be hard, and your partner will pull away from your negativity.
If you are a struggling partner with ADHD and refuse to try to manage symptoms that you and your partner have determined are destructive, your destiny will most likely be one of friction and trouble with your partner. Further, you may well end up in the child role in parent/child dynamics.
In relationships, I find that you can’t just ‘go along and see what happens,’ at least not when you are already in a relationship that is struggling. Just the action of ‘hanging back’ will influence the destiny of your relationship.
What this means is that you must think about where you want your relationship to go, and what you want it to feel like today, and then DO what it takes to make it that way. Every. Single. Day.
Are you taking those actions?
My Upcoming live seminar starts October 21st and non-adhd groups start TODAY! Learn more.
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at adhdmarriage.com, including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals. Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life!
Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The live session starts October 21, 2019.