“Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced.”
It’s not that easy to come to terms with an adult diagnosis of ADHD. Among other things you may look back and ask, “what if I had known about this earlier?” and that may encourage feelings of grief and pain. Or, as my husband says, “If I had known about ADHD earlier I would probably still be married to my first wife.” In our own marriage, there are many struggles we could have avoided if we had only known.
There are other reasons to avoid wanting to get an evaluation for ADHD. You might fear that getting a ‘label’ of ADHD will mean that your partner will (incorrectly) blame you for all of your marital struggles. You may feel shame about getting a diagnosis. You may think ADHD is just for squirmy boys. You may be willing to acknowledge ADHD, but insist it doesn’t matter (if so, read this blog post).
But Baldwin is right – if your life isn’t want you wish it to be right now, the path to improving it lies in understanding whether or not ADHD plays a role. And that means getting an evaluation.
If you don’t have ADHD, then that’s cleared up. You and your partner can move on. If you do have ADHD, you have the chance to learn about what has worked for so many others with ADHD. Facing ADHD is the first step to changing your life for the better.
If you want to find out what kind of evaluation is most accurate for determining if you have ADHD, download my free treatment e-book from my home page (right column).
Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals.
Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The next live session starts April 7, 2021.