“The most successful couples began to embrace one another’s interests…"
- Karl Pillemer, Cornell University gerontologist
When I met him, my husband was an avid cyclist. He had raced bikes in high school, and loved it still. I was a cycling neophyte. As our relationship deteriorated, my husband hoped I would join him, but I resisted. It felt like ‘just one more thing’ I was expected to do for my husband.
I now wish that I hadn’t held onto that grudge for so long.
Because he finally did convince me to get interested, and gently supported my efforts – slowing down to stay with me as I grew stronger and more confident, and buying me a bike he knew I would love riding. Now riding is a huge connector between us. We LOVE going out together and experiencing nature or traveling around the world the ‘slow’ way. When the weather is good enough you’ll find us sneaking out at lunch to ride or planning vacations around our shared interest. Biking has helped us revive, and then nurture, our relationship as we explore, talk, plan and enjoy.
According to Pillemer – this is one key to long life and romantic success. And, like us, you don’t already have to have this shared interest in place. You can develop it later in your life and enjoy the results.
Tele-coaching groups for ADHD and non-ADHD adults start next week. Get information and register here.
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
You can find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD at adhdmarriage.com, including free:
- Online treatment overview;
- Downloadable chapters of my books;
- A community forum with other couples facing similar issues;
- A large number of blog posts on various topics;
Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The next live session begins in October 2018.