|ADHD & Marriage - Weekly Marriage Tip - April 5, 2012|
Heart to Heart
Tips for Thriving in your Marriage
|Quote of the Week||Quick Links|
“She’s got gaps. I got gaps. Together we fill gaps”.
- Rocky Balboa
|The Perfect Spouse|
Do you dream of the perfect spouse? If so, have you ever taken the time to think about whether you yourself are a “perfect spouse”? What I often see, particularly when couples first come to work with me, is that each wishes the other would change, while forgiving their own short-comings because they understand them. A typical example is the nagging, critical wife who wants her husband to be less angry or more reliable. Or the ADHD partner who thinks not contributing around the house is "just the way it is."
Instead of demanding change of just your partner, assume that you both have reasons to be the way that you are – you both have “gaps” and issues – and both need to change. Then, work to understand those reasons (use learning conversations). The process looks something like this:
We all have gaps. Accommodating someone in reasonable ways creates a stronger relationship than “fixing” their problems. (And note – that DOES NOT mean ‘giving in’ on things that are important to you!)
MY NEXT SESSION OF THE ADHD EFFECT COUPLES COURSE STARTS ON WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25, 2012. FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO THIS LINK.
|For those in marriages impacted by ADHD|
|If you or your spouse has ADHD, please join our forum at www.adhdmarriage.com to ask your questions and learn from others who share your issues. In addition, you'll find in-depth essays to help you learn how to thrive in a marriage affected by ADHD.|
Hope to hear from you there!
© 2012 Melissa Orlov