A Safe Place to Make Mistakes

ADHD & Marriage News - January 27, 2026

Quote of the Week

“An experiment by Tali Sharot, a neuroscientist at University College London, and colleagues showed how the brain becomes inured to the stress or emotional discomfort that happens when we lie, making it easier to tell the next fib…the team found that the amygdala’s response to lies got progressively weaker with each lie…"

- National Geographic, in an article entitled “Why We Lie”

First…we all lie sometimes (even if we think we don’t!) But many with ADHD develop a habit of cover-ups and lies as they move through childhood as a coping strategy for dealing with the embarrassment of not always being pulled together. Covering up and pleasing the authority figure or peer who is depending upon you ‘feels’ better at the time than telling the truth and experiencing the wrath that may ensue.

The problem, however, is that over time this sets up a weakening of the brain that means that it becomes progressively harder to break the habit. In my own household, I found that it has taken a great deal of work on MY part to create an atmosphere in which my husband felt safe to be honest with me and stop lying. Our years of struggle didn’t help, as he was ‘trained’ to be easily triggered.

Why should I be partially responsible for helping my husband learn that honesty is the best policy? In our case, my husband simply got tired of fighting me…it was easier to ‘smooth things over’ and exit the scene than deal with me. That makes me partially responsible for our situation.

Yep, it’s his lying and he’s responsible for fixing the issue. But I (and you) can make it easier by creating a safe place to make mistakes and live with ADHD.

REGISTRATION OPEN:

LIVE Couples' ADHD Effect In-Depth Spring 2026 Seminar is open for registration.

Our life-changing ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar has helped hundreds of couples 'do better' Starts Mar 25 / 9 Sessions / 8-9:45pm EST
The next live seminar will be in Fall, 2026.

➤ REGISTER NOW - health care and military discounts

NON-ADHD Partner Support Groups

➤ REGISTER NOW .... explore similar issues and find effective ways to be your best self in your relationship.

7 Thursdays at 3:00pm EST - Led by Lisa Magel
Jan 29, Feb 5, 12, 19, 26, Mar 5, 12

Registration will open for upcoming support groups on Tuesday, Feb 3rd at 6:00pm EST

Seminars, Groups:

Intent to Action (i2a) Membership Program - (Registration Ongoing). i2a helps couples impacted by ADHD find practical strategies, a safe space to work through challenges, and a supportive community of peers. Our mission is to equip you with actionable expert guidance, a reduced sense of isolation, and foster real, lasting change in your relationships. Learn more and sign up here!

Office Hours. LIVE Zoom sessions to ask your questions
Weekly Action Tips. Emails with video coaching & short assignments
Workshops: Live, expert-led workshops tailored to support your journey
Book Club. Wisdom and support from ADHD experts and authors
Community Discussion Forum. Expert-facilitated member discussion forum
Unlimited Video Replays. Events are recorded for replay

Live ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - (Register Open) Is your relationship in trouble? Melissa and senior consultants help partners improve their lives together in this premier 9-session ZOOM seminar that has changed the lives of many, many couples impacted by ADHD. Mental Health Professionals, learn about our Affiliates Program.

The Self-Study Seminar - (Ongoing) Move at your own pace. Includes materials & recordings from recent live seminar lessons and Q&As. 3 months of Office Hours to support your learning! Military and Mental Health Professional discounts.

Non ADHD Partner Support Group - (Registration Opens Feb 3) - Join a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship.

Foundations in Habit Development - (Registration Opens Feb 3) This special series is for ADHD partners who have completed The ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar. This two month program helps you solidify the changes you have started to make.

ADHD & Marriage Consulting Group - (Ongoing) - Work with an ADHD expert who understand the issues faced by individuals and couples impacted by ADHD. We STRONGLY recommend you also take the ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar

Couples Support Group - (Registration Opens Feb 3) - Seven sessions. 5 couples only will work with Internal Family Systems (IFS) master facilitator, Jason Weber, to understand what ‘parts’ of themselves are participating in the parent-child dynamics and learn how to compassionately move away from it.

Therapist Training & more - (Ongoing) - For counselors, therapists, social workers, coaches, and other professionals who currently work with adults and couples impacted by ADHD, or who would like training to help improve their skills in this important therapeutic area.

Free Resources:

Is there hope? This video may help you answer that question:

Register for free marriage tips here! "Your weekly messages are beyond wonderful to receive, I cannot thank you enough! Please know the gifts that you give are treasured."