What Makes a Good Partner?

ADHD & Marriage News - January 20, 2026

Quote of the Week

“I truly believe that the privilege of a lifetime is being who you are."

- Viola Davis

I agree with Davis – being who you are is great! But…understand that this has ramifications in a relationship. If you feel that it’s important to indulge your hair trigger anger and are regularly violent because you’ve ‘always been that way’, for example, you will have trouble sustaining a relationship. You may be ‘you’ but you will be alone.

There are two versions of this ‘accept me as I am’ that I hear with ADHD couples that don’t work for me. First, there is the ADHD partner who says ‘love me unconditionally and accept me as I am’ while taking little or no control of ADHD symptoms that make the partner’s life completely miserable. Second, there is the non-ADHD partner who feels that controlling behaviors are justified due to chaos, and takes over everything…trampling others. (Yes, non-ADHD partners are going to think I have put that unkindly…but when you overperform in a relationship, this is what you are doing.)

Instead of the “I get to be who I get to be” attitude if you indulge in it, how about looking at what makes a good partner instead? And, if you think that includes things like being respectful, affection, kind or level-headed…then the first place to start is with yourself.

We are all unique, and that’s part of what is great in life. But unique is different from awful or hurtful. Make sure you know the difference.

REGISTRATION OPEN:

LIVE! Couples' ADHD Effect In-Depth Seminar -

It's NOT TOO LATE: The last day to join the live winter 2026 seminar is January 20th.

Use code gift40 at checkout to take $40 off registration.

Our life-changing ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar has helped hundreds of couples 'do better'

➤ REGISTER NOW - Listen to recordings to get up to speed, then dive into this 9 session Zoom LIVE seminar. Questions? Contact us.

NON-ADHD Partner Support Groups

➤ REGISTER NOW - A few spots open:

Thursdays at 3:00pm EST - Led by Lisa Magel
7 Thursday afternoons: Jan 22, 29, Feb 5, 12, 19, 26, Mar 5
Wednesdays at 2:00pm EST - Led by Lee Crespi
7 Wednesday afternoons: Feb 11, 18, 25, Mar 4, 11, 18, 25

Join a community exploring similar issues, successes & struggles and find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship.

Registration will open for all support groups on Tuesday, Feb 3rd at 6:00pm EST

Seminars, Groups:

Intent to Action (i2a) Membership Program - (Registration Ongoing). i2a helps couples impacted by ADHD find practical strategies, a safe space to work through challenges, and a supportive community of peers. Our mission is to equip you with actionable expert guidance, a reduced sense of isolation, and foster real, lasting change in your relationships. Learn more and sign up here!

i2a Foundation Courses - New! - Offering a shared starting point and a steady path forward, these courses bring together the core concepts, tools, and practices that help ADHD-impacted couples move out of distance and reactivity and into improved teamwork and connection. Exclusive to Intent To Action and free for members, join us today for reliable support for your relationship to thrive!

Live ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - (Last day to register for Winter Session) Is your relationship in trouble? Melissa and senior consultants help partners improve their lives together in this premier 9-session ZOOM seminar that has changed the lives of many, many couples impacted by ADHD. Mental Health Professionals, learn about our Affiliates Program.

The Self-Study Seminar - (Ongoing) Move at your own pace. Includes materials & recordings from recent live seminar lessons and Q&As. 3 months of Office Hours to support your learning! Military and Mental Health Professional discounts.

Non ADHD Partner Support Group - (Registration Open) - Join a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship.

Foundations in Habit Development - This special series is for ADHD partners who have completed The ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar. This two month program helps you solidify the changes you have started to make.

ADHD & Marriage Consulting Group - (Ongoing) - Work with an ADHD expert who understand the issues faced by individuals and couples impacted by ADHD. We STRONGLY recommend you also take the ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar

Couples Support Group - (Full) - Seven sessions. 5 couples only will work with Internal Family Systems (IFS) master facilitator, Jason Weber, to understand what ‘parts’ of themselves are participating in the parent-child dynamics and learn how to compassionately move away from it.

Therapist Training & more - (Ongoing) - For counselors, therapists, social workers, coaches, and other professionals who currently work with adults and couples impacted by ADHD, or who would like training to help improve their skills in this important therapeutic area.

Free Resources:

Is there hope? This video may help you answer that question:

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