Yeah, You Might Be Wrong

ADHD & Marriage News - October 15, 2025

Quote of the Week

“It’s really important, when you’re thinking bad thoughts about yourself, to remember they might turn out to be wrong.”

- Catherine Ryan Hyde in the novel, Stay

When I had young children and was trying to balance work and being a mom there was a period of about a year when I thought I was both a horrible mom and a horrible business person – with never enough time for either activity. Turns out I was wrong. My performance review that year noted I was better at my job (more efficient, out of necessity) and my kids would now tell you I was also a great mom. Turns out I was under stress, but I was wrong to conclude my feelings of dislocation and guilt made me horrible.

When a client’s partner declared he didn’t wish to have sex with his wife anymore she concluded there was something wrong with her. Turns out she was wrong. The husband didn’t want sex anymore because he was sexually engaged somewhere else. His lack of interest wasn’t about the wife, it was about his eagerness for the newer experience.

Another client felt he was a horrible husband because he couldn’t follow through well. His wife felt he was an amazing man…but had one request – that he be transparent with her, rather than hide himself behind a veil of embarrassment and redirections. She wasn’t bothered by his follow-through issues, but she was troubled by his cover-ups and lies. The man, sadly, couldn’t hear her feelings of love because he had decided he was so horrible that nothing positive could get through.

I believe we create these sorts of negative stories about ourselves all the time and they get in the way of making progress. (This is sometimes called having a strong inner critic.) When the inner critic speaks up we are less likely to embark upon a journey of discovery and growth than when we feel more positive. This last man, for example, would benefit from therapy to understand his desire to cover up. Then, with a stronger bond with his wife, he could decide if coaching might also help.

If you look back, are there times when you thought horrible thoughts about yourself, but they ended up not being true?

How about right now? Find some friends or a counselor and get some feedback on what you do better than you might think.

i2a Highlights:

i2a Book Clubs -- Experts joining us to talk about their books. Join us!

November 6th 8:30p EST: We get to talk to Dr. Lyne Piche again, this time more specifically about her book, ADHD & Sex. Melissa will facilitate this conversation – it’ll be a fun evening!

December 1st 7:30p EST: We're thrilled to announce that Dr. Sharon Saline will join us on to talk about her fabulous book What Your ADHD Child Wishes You Knew.

Seminars, Groups:

Intent to Action (i2a) Membership Program - (Registration Ongoing) i2a helps couples impacted by ADHD find practical strategies, a safe space to work through challenges, and a supportive community of peers. Our mission is to equip you with actionable expert guidance, a reduced sense of isolation, and foster real, lasting change in your relationships. Learn more and sign up here!

"i2a has been a godsend -- I enjoy every part of it so far -- for me that's big! I can tell it is making a difference." (ADHD Partner)

Live ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - Is your relationship in trouble? Melissa and senior consultants help partners improve their lives together in this premier 9-session ZOOM seminar that has changed the lives of many, many couples impacted by ADHD. Mental Health Professionals, learn about our Affiliates Program.

The Self-Study Seminar - (Ongoing) Move at your own pace. Includes materials & recordings from recent live seminar lessons and Q&As. 3 months of Office Hours to support your learning! Military and Mental Health Professional discounts.

Non ADHD Partner Support Group - (Full) Join a community exploring similar issues; learn from each other's successes and struggles; find new, more effective ways to be your best self in your relationship.

Foundations in Habit Development - This special series is for ADHD partners who have completed The ADHD Effect Couples' Seminar. This two month program helps you solidify the changes you have started to make.

ADHD & Marriage Consulting Group - (Ongoing). Work with an ADHD expert who understand the issues faced by individuals and couples impacted by ADHD. We STRONGLY recommend you also take the ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar

Couples Support Group - (Full). Seven sessions. 5 couples only will work with Internal Family Systems (IFS) master facilitator, Jason Weber, to understand what ‘parts’ of themselves are participating in the parent-child dynamics and learn how to compassionately move away from it.

Therapist Training & more - (Ongoing). For counselors, therapists, social workers, coaches, and other professionals who currently work with adults and couples impacted by ADHD, or who would like training to help improve their skills in this important therapeutic area.

Free Resources:

Is there hope? This video may help you answer that question:

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