Do you fight over whether or not you agreed to something in the past? Or perhaps you're a non-ADHD partner frustrated that your ADHD partner doesn't seem to remember your conversations? If so, I would like to suggest a simple solution that will help you avoid these fights.
Adults with ADHD may feel awkward in social situations or have difficulty communicating. I recently got a note from a man with ADHD who said he needed tips on how to better meet interesting women and make close friends. Here are a few suggestions:
For those of you who have learned new tools and had been doing better but are frustrated that things have gotten worse again, you are not alone!
ADDitude Magazine has just posted a good article about three different types of memory and focus training, how they work, and the basic research behind them. CogMed, which I talk about in my course and book, is one of them, and has been researched for adults as well as children. You can find the article here.
A woman wrote me recently explaining that her ADHD husband had announced that he didn't love her, and possibly never had. She is in the middle of a much-needed reset of her own non-ADHD behaviors - anger, belittling and the like, saying that reading my book made her reassess her own behaviors and that she was actively trying to improve herself with therapy and other hard work. They have children, and she asks the very important question of "how do I get him to give us another chance?"
Excessive use of electronics is not a neutral activity when it comes to relationships – it takes time away from family and partners. In our house it can feel as if my husband’s electronics rule my life. If I ask a question or sound speculative about anything, the first thing he does is whip out his phone to look up the answer. He views it as being helpful and interesting. I view it as a distraction that pulls his attention away from me and from our conversation.
If you are one of the people who has repaired your relationship and sees success, consider paying everyone here back by staying a bit involved with the site and posting about your positive experiences.
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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