MelissaOrlov's blog

I want YOUR feedback!  SO many people have asked for an audio version of my book that I decided to do an experiment. I've put together a version of me reading the first two chapters, which I'm offering for free download to anyone who is a registered user at this site. Please let me know if you like it so I can decide whether or not to finish the entire book! 

Every once in a while there is a forum discussion happening that is so relevant for so many readers that I note it in my blog and direct people to it.  We have one going on right now about anger and grief that I think is worth your time to read.  And I’ll add a few of my thoughts here:

I just came across this excellent article that addresses the neuroscience of negative thinking and what we can do about changing negative patterns of thinking.  Go to this link to read it.  I'll try to post the second segment when it is published.

The August 8th cover story of Time Magazine was entitled "Chore Wars" with the subhead "Let it go.  Make peace.  Men and women, it turns out, work the same amount."  But it misses a huge cohort of adults for whom the chore wars are still all too real – adults with ADHD and their spouses.

A woman who took one of my couples courses wrote to me to give me an update on how well she and her husband are doing.  Since I often have requests from readers at the site to hear about the positive changes couples can make, I thought I would share some of her words.  Of particular interest to you all, I think, will be what she writes about her children - if there were ever a reason to be inspired to take chances on change, this is it!

I'm delighted to announce that The ADHD Effect on Marriage won the Book of the Year gold medal for best new psychology book released in 2010 from Foreword reviews.  (It was also a finalist for the USA Book News best non-fiction book of 2010.)  If you haven't read it yet, consider getting a copy - just click on "buy now" at the left to go to Amazon.com.

Anna Quindlen, at this year's Grinnell College graduation ceremony, said "This is a moment to consider what 'doing better' really means."  She was referring to how we think about personal success, but I think the quote is just as relevant to relationship success. I urge you all to think about what ‘doing better’ really means within the context of your relationship.  Each person will have their own take on this question, but I thought I would share my own ideas.

I ask couples to clarify their personal boundaries so that they are more likely to work as partners.  When you first start this process, though, it can feel as if you are getting “rejected,” particularly if those boundaries have to do with intimacy issues.  Let me help you understand why setting boundaries is an affirmation of your relationship, not rejection.

Do you, like many other couples, find yourselves arguing over whether or not something happened a certain way in the past?  Whether or not you’ve discussed a specific subject?  Wondering whether your partner was actually THERE when you were talking about something with him or her?  If so, you’ve probably experienced the “he said/she said” argument – the one that goes like this:

One of the participants of my couples course recently asked me “You talk about how important it is the measure how you are both doing against your goals…but what does that look like, exactly?” Here is a step-by-step guide to tracking and measuring your progress.