Forum topic: Whom we choose

Have tried dating now, because the trauma therapist advises it, however terrifying it is. 

Have been for coffee a couple of times with a man who has his life together and seems decent in every way and also quite enthusiastic about me. But he doesn’t seem to connect with me on that gut level. At least not yet.

A good friend's husband has ADHD. He ran into me in the grocery store soon after my divorce, and he conveyed his sympathy in the cheese aisle. I noticed then, how his approach was so similar to my ex’s when emotionally docking in to me. My friend’s husband hardly said anything, or did anything, just paused by me briefly, but still. How does one describe it? Like clarity. Like no effort, no awkwardness. Just the perfect wavelength. The perfect emotional pitch. A rare feeling. It was so comforting. I thought: this is ADHD. 

Attraction is hard to come by. I don’t care much for looks or status. I want that connection. Since divorce, I’ve found tops three men remotely attractive, and at least two of them are definitely neurodivergent. What if neurotypical minds just aren’t as attractive? What if I’m just crazy for ADHD men and that’s that? 

(Seems too early to start a relationship with someone yet, doesn’t it?)