Husband always defects his behavior onto me insisting I am the problem in our relationship. While he admits how he frequently acts is not appropriate, his only response is an apology and insistence that I am justifying my behavior towards him. How different it would be if he just took responsibility for his behavior and came up with solutions to actually CHANGE rather than just tell me he will immediately fix it (since that does not happen). I am so overdone with this attitude. I attempted to explain it to him the other day, and was amazed that he had never even considered it, and acted as if he had NO IDEA he had been doing it. Of course the next day, he immediately did things not consistent with consideration of me, and then acted as if he simply had to apologize again and move on. Moving on is wonderful if some change is forthcoming. When no change appears, it is simply a very depressing situation that is a bottomless pit.
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Unaware of impact
Truly, doesn’t it seem like a lot of ADHD behavior is not conscious and the ADHD person blind to its effects? They may have no idea they’re bending reality or messing somebody else’s life up.
I’ve concluded my ex is unaware he’s damaged my nervous system by his choices, then lied, taken advantage and been abusive. He’s conveniently forgotten. He has no idea why I can’t bear to see him nowadays.
I’m honestly curious about how things are in that ADHD universe, it has little resemblance to mine.
The End
Husband has now told me since I resent him all the time through my behavior and actions, he no longer wishes to live like this but is unable to offer any other options/solutions. I have failed miserably. I have been making an effort to try to do things differently since February of this year, but it all has only gotten worse. Everytime I take responsibility, he considers it a back handed slap on HIM. I cannot combat this thinking and feel defeated.