I discovered some curious things within my own capacities and strengths. One of the more intersect things to note; despite having ADHD, I'm not only a good driver, but also a safe one. That actually carries over into a lot of things I've done in the past. The most interesting part for me is that I may do crazy stuff but I rarely, if ever, get injured. That's seems counterintuitive but it's simply true. By all means, I should have a laundry list of injuries, broken bones, etc...but I don't?
This is what I'm now realizing is a skill of itz own, but for what ever the reason, it's not just how well or skilled you are, but staying within your own limitations is also a skill. Even when it's extreme circumstances, that's what's kept me from injury more than any skills I have doing what ever it is I do. I can simply say, I stay within my capacity.
And I have really big fear right now is getting into and accident, wrecking my vehicle and or getting injured. It would really mess up my plans in untold ways. That is a real world possibility but also have to drive and go places. I have to . So, I have to not get into a wreck ...and possibly get injured but I also have to drive my vehicle around under that kind of pressure. And my default setting is to just relax and enjoy it. Getting uptight about what might happen doesn't make me a better driver. My "better, safer, more aware" self is not all anxious and uptight. I can drive well like that, and I have to drive well. It's what I've always done, and it's actually a relaxing experience. I also drive more slowly so I have more time to react.
But one aspect of this entire experiment that I just realized yesterday. I feel like a child again. There ferel child that is. But I have all the skills of an adult. It's kind of that wish you could go back, and still know everything you know. I just had this awakening to the fact that I felt just like a child again ....just in the building of my trailer. Getting ready for the adventure, and standing there in bare feet with my shirt off and feeling the grass when I walked. It occurred to me....this was how I dressed as kid in the summer. No shirt, no shoes, and cut off shorts. No cutoffs...but feeling felt the same. I'm just doing the same thing, with a much greater capacity. And when I stay within my capacity....things start to become fun. My best driving self that keeps me safe, is also the most relaxed and able to perform at my best.
And my best has proven to not get me into accidents or get injured while driving a car. I have a great track record over a long period of time so...if it's not broken, don't fix it. Right?
J
