Just read such a good text about the benefits of letting go of control.
The author described how believing in a friendly world as opposed to a threatening one can make your approach to most things less tense. Being loose in your mind, relaxed in your body, makes it possible to come across wonderful unexpected things in life. Rather than try to shape reality into a preconceived idea of what’s desirable.
Living a couple of decades with a severe ADD partner made me certain nothing good would ever come to me if I didn’t grab it and shape it. It’s still my reality. I don’t believe in the kindness of my friends, the happy chance of stumbling into great things. Not even when there’s proof of it.
I vow to change this. I’ll once again be that relaxed woman who not only realizes she has no control of most things, but also doesn’t attempt it.
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Comments
The Supreme Art of War
Is winning the battle without a fight.
I'm still grieving, still having my good moments and bads ones and everything in between. I'm not blaming anyone including myself......but I realized one thing that is absolutely true.
The problem Im having is this. Even if it's not my fault, it's also not anyone else's fault including my soon to be ex-SO....
I realized something real, that affect everything. It's not trust I've lost the ability to have.....it's faith.
I've lost my faith, and it's not coming back yet. That's my personal problem to address....at the same time, there's nothing I can do about it at the moment, and that's also no one's fault including mine.
So I'm being patient, and seeing if it doesn't thaw out on it own. I guess my only point to make here....it affects your capacity to believe.
That's a different kind of faith, than the kind that deals with religion. I don't know exactly what kind that is but it's very real...and you know it when it's missing.
That's all I know. But your post reminded me of it so I thought I wrote it down here, in case that helps in what you're searching for.
J
This exactly
J, that is an even better way of putting it.
We probably need to regain our faith. Perhaps faith is equally helpful whether or not it’s religious.
I know for a fact the world is everything, both brutal and sublime. It just comes down to believing in the beautiful reality of it.
I wish you a good new year.
Swedish about Faith
I believe people see the word faith and immediately think of it in religion terms or "things outside yourself that cannot be explained in some super natural way, in a more magical thinking type way. I'm not demeaning or even dissmising magical thinking as a way to dream and use your imagination, it's part of the human experience.....it's just not the tool that's needed at times....and right now for me, is not that time.
That's faith of the external kind, in things "outside of you" in somethin larger or greater than yourself. I'm personally unaffected in that realm of believing. That is, as it ever was..nothing has changed for me within that type of faith and believe system
When I say faith Ive lost my faith, it has more to do my my personal beliefs, that I privately share with no one of very veiw poeple. It's not open for debate or argument because it's basis are my feeling: body, heart, and mind......not a scripted belief you are taught to obey or comply with
That's the difference I see....which requires a different set of tools to gain more of....when you lose faith internally.
Bottom line, as I see it, it's faith IN yourself ....not exactly lost ( but feels gone ) yet still there, but needs to be summoned to wake it up.
That's my complete take of this topic: what it is, what it's not, and what is needed to get it back.
J
Consious Effort
Conscious Effort: "Summon" means to make a great effort to have a quality, like summoning courage, strength, and intense focus."
This is precisely what I mean....to regain faith in yourself.
More
A conscious effort means deliberately and intentionally applying focus, thought, and energy to do something, rather than acting on autopilot or by accident, often to overcome habits or achieve a specific goal. It involves active mental engagement to perform an action, like making a conscious effort to eat healthier by actively choosing nutritious foods.
YES !!
Key Aspects
Intentionality:
It's done on purpose, with a clear understanding and a specific outcome in mind.
Deliberate:
It requires active mental and physical exertion, not just going through the motions.
Non-automatic:
It contrasts with automatic behaviors, requiring you to think critically about what you're doing.
Side note for me or anyone with ADHD.
ADHD imposes challenge to everything said here. It's a know.
So the question becomes, is it possible for someone with ADHD to accomplish these things?
Which distilled down to it lowest common denominater in binary language.
"I can't do this, It's too hard "
Or
"I can do this, I know I can "
Before you even try.....a choice has to be made.