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Content Warning: Contains reference to suicide.

Hello everyone, I hope y'all having a healthy beautiful life!

I was scrolling through articles until I found this forum, so I really wanted to share my situation.

TLDR:

I've been dating a woman for the past 2 years ( distant relationship , we met couple times where I hosted her and her kid to my summer house) , she was married before to an alcoholic guy, they got divorced 6 months after she gave birth to her kid ( she is 8 years old now the kid).

It’s my first time posting but wanting to feel like I’m not alone in my marriage to my adhd (diagnosed but untreated apart from 4/5 adhd cbt sessions) husband of 13 years.

My husband shared that he was diagnosed with adhd as a child. Our first couple of years together I didn’t notice significant difficulties, what I did notice I swept under the rug-mostly that he didn’t connect emotionally very well, some absent mindedness etc. But we appeared to have a strong friendship, he was kind, went out of his way to do things for me, fun, etc. Things began to shift after the birth of our second child about five years into the relationship.

I'll just say up front, this might take some time to unravel. I don't like the idea that I have trauma bonding because it makes me feel weak to say "I can't help it", because something inside me is not in my control....yet.

In the aftermath of my breakup, I'm now getting a better picture of what "it" is and, as usual, it's not always simple but it is easy to understand once I identify "it".

I am very much struggling with this. I have had dogs for decades. My husband joined the dog love around the time we married 20 years ago. But--and I'm sure ADD/ADHD partners will get this--he never took a proactive approach to dog care; it all fell on me. 

It's been a couple years since I've been active here, but some stuff has happened recently that kind of drove me back.  I was reading some of my early posts, and wow!  It's interesting to look back at where I was only 4 years ago.

It's been a long time since I've posted here, but this incident has wrecked my entire morning, and I'm too embarrassed to so much as mention it to anyone IRL for any perspective.

Warning:  This is gross and embarrassing and I can't even believe I'm writing this, but here goes...

So my father does not think I am mature enough because of my ADHD. He is a pilot, and I am home during the weekends from after-school Fridays to Tuesdays when he works. I can't drive or have a phone. He thinks I am not mature enough. I am 17 years old. I get to school on time and have never been late once in high school and never got detention either. I get straight b's as my grades, so they're not too bad. Yes, I am trying to improve my grades. He thinks because I am not emotionally mature.   Yes, I have emotions, so does the rest of the world too.

Dating a couple of years after ADD divorce. Have been out a few times with a very decent man. He’s well educated, fit, intelligent and kind. 

But after today I think he has autism. 

Husband has consistently taken personal funds to support business over past 5 years. He now insists these are “loans” even though he has never paid back anything to the household. How to get him to see it is not a loan if there is no payback? He has yet to create any kind of business plan/budget (states it is impossible since he is self employed). Therapist has now chimed in that this would be a good idea for his business, so will see what comes.