Recent forum posts (all topics)

If you're new here or otherwise unfamiliar with me as a poster, please know that I'm now divorced so I'm not looking for a way to resolve this issue vis-a-vis my ex-husband.  Instead, I'm still trying to process how and why the relationship went south and maybe helping someone else here in the process.

Hi, I'm new to this group and happy to have found it. I need some advice, and would love to hear what you guys have to say. I'll try to keep this short and sweet. 

I stayed up half the night reading this book.  I saw it online while looking for something totally unrelated and bought it on a whim.  When it arrived, I had a few minutes before making dinner, so I started reading it on a whim, thinking it would be one more marriage resource dead-end that didn't really address my experience or solve the mystery for me of why I find it so difficult to make a good marriage with my husband, who is such a good person, but so challenging to share a life with.  

Where can I even start? I'm the one in a long-term marriage with ADD, diagnosed only a few years ago after trying to work with a coach and she recognized the symptoms. Thankfully our children are not ADD/ADHD, so it's just me. I have a job, we have a home, we live paycheck to paycheck, but after a lot of hard work we're carrying no debt beyond the house, so we're not in financial chaos. My non-ADD spouse also works and has a well-paying job, so all in all, we're not wealthy but we're relatively stable.

I have been reacting, responding, being of service, bewildered, discouraged, damaged.  My heart and mind have been little more than a whirlwind around my H's presence, his words, his action/non-action, .... who he is/and isn't in my mind trying to make sense of our/my life.  To the point where there seems to be no him and no me anymore....other than accusations and a senseless game of "Who can out-ignore, with hard shells, out-distance, have higher boundaries?"  And there certainly is no marriage partnership.  Two ships that pass in the night.

I've been with my boyfriend for like 18 years we have a 14-year-old son and I have not lived together in 13 years if we did we would not be together trying to talk with him or have a conversation can't even express my my feelings because I'm always trying to start an argument or usually try to get down there like three times a week and I haven't been going down because all he does is sleep because he hangs out with his friends on the other days he's 50 years old mind you so he wants to know what I have I been up to where I live and going which is nowhere I take care of our son and my elderly mother.  So you just return my call after 9 PM tonight and I responded saying this is why I don't come down on these days Mike could you sleep and he says what are you trying to start an argument and then hangs up on me  because I'm a nag why can I be cool like his ex-wife or ex-girlfriend or even anybody else there was oil spilled in his driveway and he asked me if I didn't I said no I didn't go near it and he said well then how to happen I cues me of taking your sandpaper which I did not why no that was more in there  you know he seems to be somewhat of a compulsive liar hanging out no talking with Galle's whatever the neighborhood and I was not cheating but when I comment on it he made the question I said let me see your phone and he will not bring up something from last year when I didn't let him see his my phone but if you want to see my phone he's going to make sure he sees my phone I have nothing to hide  our family and friends pretty much know we are toxic to each other and when I mentioned you know what we can do about this he stated well if I would stop being a nag trying to fight with them all the time will be fine he just started Ritalin 20 mg twice today and hopefully will do some more counseling you want to two sessions but he talked about childhood episode when he felt and collected by his mother and his step father but she still carries around with him everything he doesn't like done to him he does to me I just need to walk away because he shows throughout he really doesn't care how can eat he be able to determine an argument iconversation

My wife has had problems with thinking before she says things.  Sometimes, it involves offering something before thinking of the consequences or of the need to ask me if she can make the offer--"Sure, we'll make a whole batch of homebrew for you" or "Why don't you stay in our hotel room with us during our family vacation?"  Or things that put us in difficult situations, like telling saying something about someone that I had told her in confidence right in front of them.

Hello my lovely people! 

Hi. I've been reading this forum for awhile. Finally decided to register and submit a post. Like many others it seems, I am at my wit's end. Please forgive what follows.

Hi,

Non-ADHD spouse dumping a wall of text here, but I really need to vent.

I've been together with my wife for 5 years now, we had a very passionate and short courting, we quickly moved in together and we were inseparable. Within about a year she became pregnant. It was unplanned but we were happy about it.

I had noticed some things about her, she wasn't very good with money. She made a lot of impulse purchases, she couldn't plan meals or cook. But I chalked that up to her having a kind of crappy upbringing and something we could work on.