Recent forum posts (all topics)

Fears of Marriage

Hello everyone... I am the non-adhd person. I am really scared about getting married! I just don't know if I have the patience for this. I hate to say it but I feel like a mother to a 36 year old kid. I have read other peoples struggles and I totally relate. He moves stuff or throws things away but doesn't believe he did it. We are the only 2 in the house! (He says "if I did that then I am sorry" I want to strangle him when he says that!!) I make a chore list because he "doesn't know what to do" so he wanted it written down... he has never looked at it.

Fears about co-parenting

Hi everyone. My husband has ADHD and it has taken a huge toll on our relationship, due to infidelity and aggression on top of all the other stuff. We have a baby girl who is crawling and I am terrified of leaving her in his care. I have found ADHD medication lying around on the carpet because he doesn't store them properly. He empties the contents of his pockets (nails, screws) in random locations without thinking about it. She has been hurt a number of times under his care because of him being forgetful and distracted. He tries to drink hot coffee while giving her a bath.

New to all this and need suggestions

I'm the non ADHD spouse.   We bought the ADHD Effect on Marriage book and we were both reading it.  It was very emotional for my spouse.  We both were amazed at how it seemed someone was watching us live our lives and writing a book about it!  I went on to read The Dance of Anger and found it very insightful.  My dilemna is that my spouse has not finished reading the first book and shows no signs of doing so.   Is there a way for me to ask him about it,  remind him or otherwise suggest he get back to it without him feeling threatened or judged?

Blown away....

My husband and I have been reading a book, Created for Connection, by Dr. Sue Johnson, that is unlike the shelves of others we have read before. Dr. Johnson leads with the attachment between a child and parent, and relates the depth of this attachment (not the child/parent roles, of course), or Connection, to that which a person seeks in their spouse.

CASTLE BY THE SEA

I had taken the time to make many special foods you like for the 4th of July weekend - they were sitting in the fridge just needing to be cooked.  At 6:30p I told you I was going to go work in the garden, you did not say a word as you were focused on watching tv and on your ipad.  At 7:30pm, I went into the house just to tell you to come outside it was nice out, you said you would be out shortly.  I continued to work outside and figured you decided to stay inside as I had not seen you.

Dealing with our own thinking & emotions....

What is the most difficult part (or what seems to inflict the most long term negative impact on your mindset and emotions) of your lives, when it comes to the effects on you, in seeking to live in a peaceful way w/ your spouse?? 

For me it's (hands down) the emotional and psychological effects I experience on my person, from her denial...Denial always produces the same attributes in a mind...No ownership of actions, self-justification and blame....

ADHD spouse didn't react to our dog attacking our niece...

Let me start off by saying that my niece is OKAY, our dog didn't actually bite her, he jumped on her and scratched her. He is now at a training facility for a couple of weeks and my niece is learning how to interact with dogs safely. we're glad nothing worse happened...

constantly fighting hopelessness

I was diagnosed with ADHD just after my 41st birthday, and I am close to turning 44. At first, the diagnosis and treatment brought relief and understanding to a lifetime of struggling, anger, and lost relationships. I read every book about ADHD that I could, applied behavioral and medicinal treatment (and still do), drastically improved my diet, and worked with an ADHD coach (who said, "Stop reading books about ADHD.").

Reaping the fruit of kindness....

It's been a long and difficult road; this marriage relationship of ours.  But like all good things...GOOD THING??...Yes,  (Proverbs 18:22..A man who finds a wife, finds a good thing), like I was saying, before I was interrupted :) lol... like all good things, it also has it's trials...We humans just tend to reflect the images in front of us...Especially those that are there constantly...It's human weakness...No man's an Island....

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