Recent forum posts (all topics)

I am new to this website and keep seeing Melissa Orlov state the following: "couples that are well educated about how to manage the impact of ADHD can thrive together"  However, everything I am reading is to the contrary and doesn't give me much hope, Where are the testimonials from all of the "thriving couples"???

Lastnight my ADHD husband tried to pick a fight with me in the store. He was tired from working long hours and was clearly a grumpy child in need of a nap. He's also as violent as a 5yr old, mind you. He'll punch walls, swear enough to make a sailor blush, swing his arms wildly, and give people death stares when HE hits THEM. Not to mention try to pick fights. He started to pick one with ME last night, by claiming that I was looking at the space between his eyes? He looked like he was about to raise his fist and sock me one.

The most frustrating part of dealing with an ADHD spouse is their mind is so scattered that they don't realize their mind is scattered. The excuses, defensiveness, and the absurd circular logic is mind boggling. Nobody can possibly defend this position without creating some kind of weird alternate reality for themselves. They are normal, it is the rest of us who are crazy.

     My husband and I are currently  separated, but when he took me to the doctor a few days ago we had a series of good talks. He is looking for an ADHD coach, and he's finally, finally admitting the ADHD is affecting him more than he wanted to admit. He also told me he is scared he's going to find out he might be worse than his schizophrenic brother and bipolar mother.  I think fear has driven several of his behaviors that he hasnt wanted to face.

Now that we are separated, my husband has made a big deal out of having dinner with our son, a high school Senior, on Thursday nights--just the two of them for "boys night out". (Perhaps it goes without saying that Thursday was chosen because of its supreme convenience for my husband, although a Thursday school night is far from ideal for a kid struggling with his own Dyslexia/ADHD homework challenges.) Husband has now blown off two of these Thursdays in a row.

Something I am reading over the years on this board is "...but I love him."  This, after atrocious stories of not communicating, irresponsibility, ignoring, sometimes mean things the writer has written about the person they "love".  I understand this but I no longer say this is true for me.  In these cases, LOVE is not love but NEED and DENIAL....and grasping for hope.  Fantasy thinking.  

My SO has ADHD and also a personality disorder of some sort. I am wondering if people have any suggestions of exactly which one(s) and what might be going on, and also I need support.

I've been with my partner over a decade, married 5 years and we have two 4-year-old's. Yesterday I tried to talk to him about how he needs to pull his finances together not just for current goals to be able to own property but for long-term quality of life. He did not want to talk about it and said once again 'it was the way I brought it up' he threw a plate across the room, proceeded to bang things and even broke a toy of one of the kids. Its at moments like this that I wonder how much of this am I supposed to take?

For those with an ADHD spouse, I really need some advice. My husband has severe ADHD and, as a result, is very forgetful. I can never rely on him to remember anything (found out that the hard way: late bills, forgetting to renew his driver's license this year, etc.). I realize that this is just something I need to help him with, and I usually just do everything for him or give him consistent reminders for the things I can't do. However, when I remind him to do things, he gets angry and accuses me of nagging him when in reality I am just trying to ensure that it gets done.