Recent forum posts (all topics)

Something I am reading over the years on this board is "...but I love him."  This, after atrocious stories of not communicating, irresponsibility, ignoring, sometimes mean things the writer has written about the person they "love".  I understand this but I no longer say this is true for me.  In these cases, LOVE is not love but NEED and DENIAL....and grasping for hope.  Fantasy thinking.  

My SO has ADHD and also a personality disorder of some sort. I am wondering if people have any suggestions of exactly which one(s) and what might be going on, and also I need support.

I've been with my partner over a decade, married 5 years and we have two 4-year-old's. Yesterday I tried to talk to him about how he needs to pull his finances together not just for current goals to be able to own property but for long-term quality of life. He did not want to talk about it and said once again 'it was the way I brought it up' he threw a plate across the room, proceeded to bang things and even broke a toy of one of the kids. Its at moments like this that I wonder how much of this am I supposed to take?

For those with an ADHD spouse, I really need some advice. My husband has severe ADHD and, as a result, is very forgetful. I can never rely on him to remember anything (found out that the hard way: late bills, forgetting to renew his driver's license this year, etc.). I realize that this is just something I need to help him with, and I usually just do everything for him or give him consistent reminders for the things I can't do. However, when I remind him to do things, he gets angry and accuses me of nagging him when in reality I am just trying to ensure that it gets done.

Have you ever asked yourself; "Why is life so hard"? Me too! Specifically, why has it been so difficult to find any kind of balance in my marriage relationship. Balance meaning here..."Repetition"...Something stable that I can count on from day to day. Well what I coming to realize is most of my pain was in direct response to my efforts to find (or force would more accurately stated) the answer to my question. When the answer to my question was and always has been....There will be no balance!...

Just found this at the main page of the site...I guess this could be one more piece of the puzzle as to how/why my son has ADHD. He was in the ICU for several days as a newborn, since the labor was difficult and they thought he might be at risk. http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/308612.php I didn't like being separated from my baby and I argued with the doctor that I wanted to take him home.

I am kind of desperate here and I need advice from someone that has lived something like this.

I've been with my fiancé for almost 3 years. Last year in may he had to move back to the states for a better job opportunity, he wasn't feeling well at his last job, so I encouraged him to take the job, I knew it was going to be a challenge for both of us, he doesn't like to talk too much and I am more the chatty kind.

I'm wondering if this is a reasonable boundary that I asked if my husband tonight?

I gave him a week to find some names of professionals who could help him with his ADHD, possible Aspergers, and his responsibility in those symptoms that affect our marriage. 

I have so intensely focused on it for such a great amount of time, that I have to say I am at a loss to understand.

I have realized over the past few months that this is so very, very complex.  I have some understanding.  I have some experience.  Raised up a son who gave me my first glimpse into ADHD.  Saw possibilities. Know it just 'is,' and there are ways to find joy.   

And it is way bigger than I am.  

It is not at all that my efforts have been in vain.  It is not that I am making a mess.  It is not that my spouse is making a mess.