Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hi everyone. I'm getting more and more unhappy in my marriage. My husband has ADHD and bad RSD. The RSD is causing regular problems in our relationship. I understand how ADHD and the RSD affect him and that it's part of it but I'm finding it more and more difficult to handle. At times he is blatantly rude and horrible. 
 

Have any of you non-ADHD partners who've been badly hurt by ADHD, reached a point of forgiveness?

I would want to close this crater of pain when the first year of divorce is coming round. It's not so much about him or overseeing with his actions. Mostly, I want to be different.

I believe I understand what my SO is trying to say,  but she's not only missing the mark, its making me feel criticized and disapproved of at the very same time. This is one reason I came back here talking about her going on a roll of periods of non-stop criticism.  I realized, this method she's been using has great deal to do with it,  as this method  happens quite often.... even again tonight.  In fact, this is the reason we had our first conflict together. Ironically, it's conflict she's trying to avoid. The message is definitely not coming through loud and clear! 

A quick post about frustration and ADHD and an observation I made at work. The frustration is not mine but my employer's.

The woman I work with has ADHD. I've mentioned she's the apprentice in the shop. I've also mentioned that in my line of work....there's a structured hierarchy: apprentice, journeymen and master. In the tradition of the craft, the apprentice has a supporting role in support of the journeymen and master craftsman. They do all busy work and tasks that keep the others moving in flow so the entire shop will run smoothly and be more productive. 

Angry at ADHD Husband - Not Understanding Priority Setting

I'm sorry it's taken this long to make this post but I wanted to make sure I've covered all my bases from both sides of my relationship with my and I think I have. I actually came back here to help my with this process and it's been hugely helpful. As usual I've learned a lot more than I ever expected.

I want to make this post however, as if I've never been here before and the people who know me can put my past history aside and trust I know what I'm saying. This will help me actually, from making another long winded post that goes on forever and get right to the facts. So without further adue.

Guys...I'm struggling with managing my own reactions and behaviours when it comes to my husband's dopamine rushes. He gets the dopamine rush, buys the 'thing' and then it's discarded in a pile (like, literal pile) in our house or backyard or whatever. Or he makes the grand gesture or declaration that he's going to do something and we ALL have to get in line.  Or some times, the purchase doesn't even MAKE it to the pile... it's still in the fecking box/wrapper sitting there for MONTHS if not YEARS. And the projects! The dopamine projects are everywhere in my home.

My SO is a Control Freak. Everyone who knows her says the same thing.....her friends, family members, her son and even she openly admits it. 

I, on the other hand, am a control freak, but more narrowly focused to things I do less my environment and other people. That's not to say I don't do the same things she does, but predominantly, my control focus is aimed in a different direction than hers.

There's an incredible video on YouTube entitled: How Wolves Changed Rivers that tells the story of what happened when they reintroduced wolves back into Yellowstone National Park. The net effect was something called a Trophic Cascade which is a miraculous phenomenon that takes place in a closed environment, when a small change ( in the big picture ) has an amazing impact on the entire ecosystem. I hope you can take a minute and watch this short video.

In my mind, this is how GOD works. You couldn't ask for a more profound example. 

I read some excellent articles about over explaining and ADHD; why it happens, and possible causes. This will be extremely helpful as it definitely applies to me. I can recall countless times in my life when people were trying to turn me off and I didn't know exactly why? Now I understand! 

Just another adaptive strategy that has a self sabotaging effect. And once more, I think this is just another ingrained habit that once served a purpose but no longer serves me. Getting about breaking this habit will be my next course of action.