I just came across this site, and SO many things hit home with me...Like others have said, I feel like I'm reading about my own situation. It's all so eerily similar! Permit me to share some ways in which I related to the other posts. It would do me some good to vent.
Does anybody else feel sad for how they have changed being married to an ADHD person? It is quite possible I am having a big ol' midlife crisis (I am 44) but lately I think about what I was like 20 years ago and what I am like now. Of course I would change and grow over 20 years of marriage and life and two kids, but what I thought about the world and my place in it--that is totally different. I used to think my husband was the man of my dreams--I used to tell him so. Now I cannot imagine that I ever felt that way.
I know it's a hard holiday for those of us in relationships with people who don't know how to or choose not to show love and compassion. I hope we all still have a good day.
I am, like many people here, completely at my wits' end. My wife has every ADHD symptom in the book, or at least one version of it (primarily inattentive type). I am terrified when she gets behind the wheel of a car. She stares at her iphone, playing mindless self-medicating games, all day long. She is as sexually dysfunctional as a rock. She hums all the time. She does few chores on time, and if she does, is openly hostile. She finishes almost nothing. She is never on time for anything.
Sitting here crying and terrified that my marriage is beyond repair. The anger I feel towards my husband is overwhelming. We are both in counseling. have been married 20 years with two daughters, ages 8 and 5. The full scope of how his ADD has affected our relationship is finally fully dawning on me. I am so angry at the toll this has taken on me mentally and physically, I can't even see straight. The more I learn about this, the more angry I become. We used to be the envy of everyone...the most romantic, kind, fun couple anyone knew. People used to tell me all the time how lucky I
First off, let me say that H finally went into work yesterday for the first time since last Thursday! That was a relief. On Monday night he says to me, almost accusingly "Would you PLEASE do me a favor? Would you NOT buy any beer when you are at the grocery store tomorrow? I really need to regulate it so that I'm not tempted to drink before I go into work." Okay. I had no plans of BUYING you any beer since I don't drink it! He just made it seem like I'd be at fault for him not going into work if I bought him beer.
Ok I am new here, but certainly wish I had found . Good grief, I had no idea how much ADHD was effecting and controlling our relationship and to find out I wasn't going crazy. That whole filling in the blanks stuff...holy cow, welcome to my world. We have been married for five years, together for ten. I have two children and he has none. Misunderstood pretty much covers every fight we've had...we each misinterpret what the other is saying and then there's no going back. And of course I am very easy going, don't hold much of a grudge, am not big on strick rigid rules....and he is not.
New here. My apologies for the length. I'm really at my wits end. Husband has ADHD and is untreated. Refuses to go. My step son also has it. He is being treated. Blended family- 4 kids. 2 his, 2 mine. All under one roof, and feeling very very dysfucntional. We've been married 4 years, together for 6, didn't begin living together until we got married (I'm traditional). So, over the past three years, I have been patient, kind, supportive and have taken really all I can really take. My children are teenagers, one is already in college and the other is on her last year at home.
H never wants to be the person to plan anything. He'll talk about how fun it would be if we did such and such. He'll tell me half a dozen times over a 1 month period how awesome that would be if we could take that trip. Yes it would be awesome. Seeing as how it's YOUR idea and we would be going to visit YOUR relatives, YOU can plan the whole thing. Nope. If I don't say "Oh I'll make the plane reservations, I'll find us a hotel, I'll look for cool things to do while we are there" he won't do a damn thing.
Hey everyone. My ADHD husband and I have had some ongoing issues with him and money. Not sure if this is ADHD related but heck probably all his struggles are to some extent, so here I am.
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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