Recent forum posts (all topics)

Act Before it's Too Late

For all the ADHD spouses reading this, please listen. If you have it, think you have it, or just show the traits, please don't wait to make things right.  Explain what you're going through to your spouse and ask for patience and empathy. See, I didn't do that. It's going to cost me my beautiful wife and two kids. Sure they're not gone, but those bonds are. Our brains are different, not worse, just different. Do nice things for your spouse, break the cycle of bickering and fighting. Learn to stop and think things through.

First step towards learning to NOT be a rescuer...

So... Long story short, have been with my ADD DP for seven years and have always been a rescuer (But have only recently learned that this is what I have been doing)  Dp has only known about his ADD for 3 months and we are suprised at all the things we have been doing completely WRONG...

What belongs on the list to measure progress?

My ADHD husband claims he is working hard and is frustrated that I don't give him credit for his accomplishments. He also claims he doesn't want to bother working at this because he has no guarantee I will stay with him after he works so hard.  This last bit seems almost like he is attempting to induce guilt -  however, it is not working. 

I am continually frustrated at things that don't change.  An example, he believes he is not angry all the time  yet I see him angry all the time.

How the heck do we measure the progress?   

 

 

All Of The Above

We started out getting marriage counseling, but I ended up quitting when my husband stated that because of my poor relationship with my father I had no respect for him. I blew up. The therapist asked me why I was so upset when my husband was simply stating how he felt. I didn't answer her question. I felt that since this woman was a professional who allegedly specializes in addiction and ADHD in teens and adults that she should recognize a manipulative ploy when she saw one. My husband is the sole breadwinner.

Questions for ADDers

My BF is adhd and we are in a really good place in our relationship.  On the weekend he got really frustrated because he had left a package behind while shopping.  He blamed leaving the package on my interrupting him when he was concentrating on something else (which I did) and had a bit of a hissy fit.  It genuinely didn't upset me.  I recognized his frustration for what it was and we talked it through without it snowballing.

A pretty much perfect vacation!

You know how there are some events in your life that you build up so much in your mind that you are afraid that the reality can't ever live up to the hype??  I fortunately have people in my life, including my most fabulous husband, who have made so many of those dreams come true for me.  Our wedding party spent 2 days tenting the entire ceiling of our reception location in gossamer, so that it would have the right fairy tale feel.  10 years ago my wedding was completely a realization of the dreams and plans my fiance and I made together......and I appreciated his involvement so much.   

he won't admit that he has a problem, any ideas?

my husband and i have been together for nearly 7 years now, we have 2 children together and i love him so much it surprises me. only just one problem - he has ADHD and won't admit it. he has been diagnosed, though not by a psychiatrist or anything so not officially, but he doesnt believe adhd is a legitimate condition even, so its impossible to get him to see it. he lives in his own little world, reality is another planet to him. he can't handle finances, he can't focus, he's never on time for anything, he doesn't understand other peoples emotions, if things dont go his way he sulks.

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