Recent forum posts (all topics)

My husband (Add) and I (non-add) had a 2 day 'fight' recently where he would not stop arguing/ yelling (including following me around the house and outside) until I admitted that everything that was wrong in our marriage was my fault. My low self-esteem, my parents alcoholism, my affair etc. everything. All were my fault. Yes, the affair was my fault, but that's a different forum all on it's own.  I would say "yes, it's all my fault." but he never believed me because he could read my body language.

Hi,

New here but have been reading lots over a period of time, and elsewhere as well. Seems a lot of good info here so lets see what I get.

I'm not sure how to go about this in a short post, so bear with me and i will do the best I can.

After reading several posts last night, it occurred to me that I need to plan strategies to help myself deal in a positive and healthy way with some of my husband's ADD behaviors.  He's not going to change, so I have to figure out how to behave in certain situations instead of getting plugged in and being angry or playing his mother.

I'm just curious. Haven't read much about this topic yet and there is no board about "planning".

What happens when you (non-ADD spouse) inquires about what's going to happen the next few days?

In my situation, my ADD spouse will simply be very annoyed with the question. How can he know what he will do this weekend? How does he know how he's going to feel this weekend? How do I dare ask him the question? Wait a minute, I must have a secret plan for asking the question... 

If at any time at all we decide to do something, 99% of the time, it will not happen. 

I'm really curious about the scan.  It seems to be a good tool in diagnosing ADD, etc. and very helpful in determing which meds to use.  Has anyone gone to an Amen clinic or the clinid in Denver??   Please post your thoughts on this.  The prices are outrageous but would be worth it if years are saved from trying a multitude of drugs that don't work.

Thanks!

Lulu

I'm not going to write a book but lets say my life has steadily becoming a living hell with my ADD spouse. Unfortunately it took five years of jumping up and down, yelling, and begging  to get him and his parents on board with that fact I thought something was "wrong" with him. He is on medication now and seeing a coach but I have not one ounce of patience, energy, or sympathy to suffer through him while he is going through treatment.

My boyfriend of six months is a professional musician.  He has moved beyond the hyperfocus stage, has started detaching and now has gone a solid week without seeing me.  He's called every few days - sometimes after staying awake for two solid days working on a music with an imaginary deadline.  He has new software that he's learned in record time.  I've seen this mania before and it is alarming but this is the first time I've been completely cut off.  His messages keep telling me what an understanding girlfriend I am and that he misses me but he's soooo busy.  

HI Everyone. This site has been a marraige saver for my husband and I. We been together 12 years, married almost 7. Last month we seperated for 2 weeks, niether of us could deal with the other any longer. A bit of hitstory... After years of not feeling loved etc (typical non-add spouse feelings) I had an affair. I deeply regret it, especially once my husband was diagnoaed with ADD. To find out he really wasn't the jerk I thought I had married and that i had done that to him...the guilt is amazing.  Anyway, during our two week seperation he went to his parents for support.

here's something i'm currently frustrated about: i have adhd.

to make things worse, i have a girlfriend who thinks my problem is that i'm simply not "motivated".  and i can't can't figure out what the hell that means, because to me it seems obvious that i have plenty of motivation. 

I just found this resource though Dr Hallowell's books are the backbone of our ADD library.  Some of the feelings I'm reading sound SOO familiar, though I have to appreciate that my situation is not nearly so extreme as what many of you are facing.  My heart sincerely goes out to everyone in the ADD predicament.