My husband has ADHD that he is not being treated for/managing. I find myself reading all of the books and listening to all of the podcasts, trying to understand what is going on and how I can help (I have some anxiety based attachment issues) but felt I needed some support from this group and others who might be feeling what I’m feeling.
His mood swings are so catastrophic that I can’t keep up. Yesterday he was listing all of the things he’d like to do to fix up our house (our first house that we moved into <1 year ago), and today he says he can’t do any of them and that he should never have bought a house. He says he wishes I wasn’t here for him because then he could just disappear and no one would care. He had a job interview yesterday that he was excited about, and today he says he won’t take the job of it’s offered. He wanted it because it pays more but now says he has no money… which could be fixed by taking the job.
What is real? I don’t know what to think or what to base any of my thoughts on anymore.
Has anyone else dealt with a similar situation or feeling? I have resentment building and I don’t know which way to turn because I don’t know if he’s just giving up on our life and marriage or if it’s all a knee jerk reaction??
Thank you soooo much in advance for any input.
Forum:
Comments
Safety
It’s human to want safety. It’s one of our most basic needs. Without it, love, respect, intimacy are not achievable. What your partner’s mood swings and shifting confidence does, is to gradually erode your safety.
I think your partner needs to quickly become aware of the need for him to be stabilized by treatment. He needs to provide safety to you.
Thank you! I agree completely
Thank you! I agree completely.
I understand competely....
What would you want a spouse to do if it was you behaving like a child/victim?
I know I would want her to laugh at me, never mother me, (enable me) and walk away (not engage me) from ANY comments that weren't safe, responsible, and full of ownership and kindness towards her...So that her day to day life wouldn't be negatively impacted by me... And I would be forced to grow up and be a safe grown man, or leave...
That is what I would want from my wife...
c